Praise yes, but in moderation
All good action deserves recognition by its beneficiaries. To praise good deeds never hurt, although like everything else in life, the negative consequences come from the excess and this issue does not escape this maxim. Recognizing too much the good deeds of the smallest of the house can have negative consequences.
Must to praise, yes, but always in concrete situations and easily recognizable actions. Highlighting positive aspects in children without reason and too often causes children not know how to differentiate the barrier between good and evil, and it costs more to differentiate a good action than it is not.
Addicted to praise
Moderating the praises does not mean never giving them, just the opposite. These positive comments should be very present in the children's lives, although they should refer to specific situations where the child has made an outstanding action. At this time if parents recognize this work and congratulate their children, they will be motivated to act again in this way and have learned that it is their effort that really deserves praise.
However, excessive praise can cause children to end up depending on them and constantly look for them to reaffirm their self-esteem. A problem that makes the contrary that in the previous case, in this the minors do not feel satisfied with their good actions, but only when someone reminds them how good they are. Something that can cause their anger if they do not receive a congratulation when acting in a way.
How to praise
These are some of the guidelines that can be followed to achieve the best results of the compliments in children:
1. Make the child know what behavior he has liked. It is not the same to say: "How well you have behaved", to say, "Mom is happy because you have not run through the corridors and you have spoken softly". In the first case, the child is left with the idea that his behavior has been good but he does not know concretely what he has done and what has pleased his parents so much.
2. Immediate praise. It is no use waiting a month to say to the child: "Dad is happy because you have fixed your room". In this case the child will already have forgotten what he did or did not do.
3. Appropriate praise. We must praise with enthusiasm and accompany the praises with body language such as a hug, a slap, a kiss on the cheek, etc. In this way we increase the magnitude of the praise, a praise said without enthusiasm, or carelessly loses its effectiveness.
4. Simply praise. Some parents accompany a compliment with a sarcastic comment, such as: "How well you have made the bed today, but you could do it that way every day!". With this "tagline", which often escapes us, we have lost all the benefits of praise.
Damián Montero
