The syndrome of the full nest
Many times they talk about the 'empty nest syndrome', that hard feeling of parents when their children they leave home. But what few know is the 'syndrome of the full nest', which happens just before the opposite situation, when young people become increasingly independent: children do not leave home, because they can not or do not want to, or they have to return for various personal or economic circumstances.
Having children nearby is always synonymous with joy: they are company, they are support, they are, ultimately, essential. However, there is an age at which they must 'take flight' to form their own family and mature as people. They have to go home when they already have 30 or even 40 years, not to mention those who can not even leave it due to different circumstances, is a problem for the whole family environment. It does not mean that parents do not want their children, much less, but that each time has some duties and rights, and this'trastoca'the life of parents and children.
How the full-fledged syndrome affects the parents
Most parents who see how their children, who already believed seated In their respective homes, they have to go home feeling frustrated. It is not that the love they feel for their offspring is inferior, it is that they already have an age and it 'touched' them to enjoy the effort of all these years in their natural cycle.
In addition, on many occasions you have to take steps back in the house: if the son left years ago, it is likely that his room now has other use, for example. Now we must return to make room for the descendant with everything that 'has incorporated'. And not only that: the parents follow the routine of the children until they leave: now it is time for a new period of adapting schedules, routines, and customs that is not always easy.
And the children?
Of course, not only the parents they pass badly in these circumstances: the children are those who have seen how they have failed in some aspect of their life and have to go back to the parents to start over, which can also be traumatic for many reasons.
For example, having been totally independent during some time and returning with parents usually leads to role problems: parents are parents and take care of their children, whether they are the same age as they are ... and sometimes it is difficult to accept that they come home with all those small consequences.
In the house they have to readapt everyone: going back to the room he had when he was little can also be hard for the son who has returned, who also usually carries small traumas as a consequence of what has made him return to the nest.
How to overcome the syndrome of the full nest
Three are the key tips so that, both children and parents, overcome these moments:
1. Weather. Keep in mind that everything is temporary and that time returns to its place. Overcoming economic and emotional stress needs a period of months, but in the end it is achieved and everything will have happened.
2. Freedom and respect. It is essential to bear in mind that all the protagonists of this situation are adults who can talk and talk to solve the normal problems of coexistence. At this point, speaking clearly, reconciling the interests of one another and respecting each other is the key to moving from a crisis to a pleasant situation. The parents must take into account the situation of the child and avoid reproaches, but the child can not forget that he now lives with his parents and must adapt again to his routine.
3. Patience. She is the mother of science and also of happiness. Do not act compulsively: with the respect and time that we have mentioned before, this situation (which is usually transitory) will be overcome.
Damián Montero
