Emotional insecurity: steps to stop being insecure

The self-confidence It is essential to achieve personal goals. Security is the energy that allows us to achieve our dreams despite failures and adversities. It is not easy to be a safe person, we often have doubts and fears about our abilities, and they make us succumb in distrust and insecurity. The emotional insecurity It condemns us, it is like a chain that we put on ourselves, but from which it is not easy to break free.

The roots of insecurity

Why are some people insecure? The emotional insecurity in oneself It is caused by a lack of confidence and the fear that this little confidence generates in the person. The person does not trust in their abilities and abilities and believes that it will be difficult to succeed or overcome certain situations, this belief is the basis of fear of rejection, fear of making a fool of oneself, fear of not being accepted, and fear to failure which in turn are the bases of insecurity.


The causes of the lack of trust can be diverse and depend on the experiences lived by the person. It is true that there is a certain genetic predisposition to insecurity but this predisposition is determined through the personal experiences of each one. So among the experiences that generate distrust in oneself we can point out:

- Few opportunities to prove oneself to one's abilities and therefore develop confidence. It is usually determined by overprotection in childhood.

- Experiences with negative results during the demonstration of one's own abilities.

How is the insecure person?

When a person feels insecure, he constantly fears the rejection and disapproval of others. And therefore, due to insecurity the person may develop a tendency to isolate himself or to seek approval at any price. Both reactions imply a significant deterioration in their personal relationships. In addition we can observe these reactions through the following manifestations:


- Constantly require praise and attention. They need to nurture their confidence and self-esteem through external evaluations. They can become selfish, since they only focus on receiving attention.

- They are very susceptible, They take everything as criticism or attacks against their person. They do not tolerate any criticism and are taken as comments that are not.

- They constantly talk about the good things they do and the qualities they have. They do it unconsciously in a futile attempt to prove to themselves their own worth.

- They need constant approval when they do something or have to make a decision. They have a hard time making decisions and are afraid of making mistakes, so they will ask many people and seek approval.

- They tolerate failure very badly and try to justify their mistakes, instead of accepting them and learning from them.


- They often make fun of others, use jokes and a sense of humor. This sense of humor is useful in two ways, on the one hand they manage to be accepted and on the other it helps them to devalue others, in an attempt to be superior.

Steps to overcome insecurity

1. Analyze your beliefs and interpretations. Begins to be more forgiving of yourself and above all remember that once you made a mistake, does not mean that you are always going to make mistakes.

2. Learn from your mistakes. Failures are a natural part of life, but they do not have to be bad, we just have to learn from them.

3. Draw your own plan to overcome insecurities. Propose daily goals that you can achieve and that challenge you against your insecurities. In this way you can trace a plan to overcome your insecurity little by little.

4. Stop comparing yourself with others. We often compare ourselves with others and tend to see ourselves inferior. Never compare yourself with others, remember that everyone follows their own path.

5. Make a list of your strengths and capabilities and review it every day.

Celia Rodríguez Ruiz. Clinical health psychologist. Specialist in pedagogy and child and youth psychology. Director of Educa and Learn. Author of the collection Stimulate Reading and Writing Processes.

It may interest you:

- Fat talk: insecurity in front of the mirror

- Fear of social rejection, how to be accepted in the group

Video: HOW TO DEAL WITH INSECURITIES | PSYCHOLOGICAL STRATEGY


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