A childhood full of love, the key to a lasting marriage

What is the key to spend all your life with that special person? How do you get a marriage lasting that endures all the storms and can always reach a good port? The key could be in childhood because from the earliest ages people receive influences that will have an effect on their future life.

This has been determined by a study of Faculty of Medicine, Harvard University that has shown that marriages more lasting are related to a childhood where love and affection were very present.

The love in childhood improves the couple's relationship

The members of this study analyzed the data of 81 marriages followed in an investigation to long term in which they took into account variables such as the duration of their marriage, level of affection in childhood and the way in which they assimilated the typical problems of the couple.


Analyzing these data they appreciated that those people who had a childhood full of affection and affection managed to better manage the stress later. This supposed that when the discussions appeared or some problem in the couple, these individuals had a greater facility to solve these situations and reach a climate of dialogue.

 

Managing emotions in marriage

A better management of stress supposes a better control of the emotions. That is, the people who know how to better carry out their level of emotional tension, they know how to calm themselves in tense situations like a discussion and not to warm the environment any more. "We find that this link occurs in part because a more caring childhood promotes better management of emotions and interpersonal skills in middle age, and those skills predict safer marriages at a later age," he explains. Robert Waldinger, head of this investigation.


These results corroborate those achieved in other investigations made in this same sense where it is demonstrated that a childhood where affection and understanding are present, derives in a better emotional maturity. "A family life with affection in childhood can have 'comprehensive effects' on well-being, life achievement and functioning in relationships throughout life," says Waldinger.

For its part Marc Chulz, Another of those responsible for this study, stated that it is amazing how actions produced in childhood have a subsequent effect on adult life. Positive consequences that can continue to be appreciated even in the marriages of octogenarian people who received a childhood full of affection.

Keys to a strong relationship as a couple

In addition to a childhood surrounded by love, couples must work every day because their relationship becomes stronger and entrenched. These are some keys to work for:


- Always look for the second place. Selfishness does not work in a courtship or in a marriage. Couples often have less empathy with each other than with their friends. They worry about being aware of the successes and looking for areas of common interest, even giving in to avoid breaking a friendship. However, they do not put the same energy when it comes to the relationship with the other. A way of acting that should be the other way around since the best marriages are those that follow the maxim "give is better than receive".

- Be generous in your compliments. At least once a day, look for something positive to say to your partner. You can always find something admirable and worthy of being praised. Think about these things, pay attention throughout the day. To ensure a lifelong love, you must be the "number one fan" of your partner.

- Spend a lot of time together. It is a myth that happy couples have to lead independent lives, interests and activities. Finding a "shared identity to stop being" individuals "and being" married ", will strengthen the marriage much more.

Express love Frequently and with creativity.

Damián Montero

Video: Danny & Arin Reveal the 7 Keys to a Happy Marriage -- A Very Special Game Grumps Compilation


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