Cry for everything, teach him to overcome small difficulties
From the moment we are born we have the possibility of developing a wonderful and very useful capacity: overcoming. However, when frustration arises in the face of difficulties, children have the reaction of crying. When it happens very often, it seems to us that the child cries for everything. It is time to teach him to overcome small difficulties.
What do you do when you lose your ball?
A daily situation is when your child plays with his ball and it slips under the chair, so that he does not have it within reach; You can see it, but you do not know how to reach it. The reactions will be of several types: some children will try to get under the chair, until they check for themselves that they can not reach it and then they will decide on the fly "the plan B"; others, will choose to change the game, without bothering to go looking for it; some will start crying immediately, given the loss of the ball. It's the group of the "weepers", for which the cry is an immediate response to any situation. As they grow, they will cry more and more intensely and the frequency will increase.
Reactions from parents when their children cry
Before the image of your son crying helplessly, because he can not take his ball or his truck out of the hole where he has got it: what answer do you have? What is the first thing that occurs to you? Will you leave him crying? easy that is for you to take the toy out of the hole?
The normal thing is to take it out and give it to the little one who will be very happy and you also to feel that you have helped him. But what has your child learned from a difficulty, if we have taken it out of the way? Where is the learning? You will quickly associate that before them you just have to cry, an adult will come and solve it. Thus, he will develop the art of crying constantly at the slightest difficulty.
Develop your self-improvement instinct
When a child of about two years, for example, places a piece in a house and then can not take it out, it is normal to give it. But we must take advantage so that it is fixed in how we do it: very slowly, making sure that he observes it, explaining it verbally and encouraging him later to do it alone until he learns. We must congratulate him effusively if he succeeds.
At this age they love to imitate and they get very happy when they manage to do things for themselves.
If you do not put interest, we can try to leave the piece inside: we explain how to do it, we encourage you to try it and if necessary we accompany your hand. If you look at us waiting for us to do it, it is convenient to leave the piece inside. You will reach your own conclusions. For a child to do an apprenticeship he must do it himself and it will not exist if you give him the piece. The constant overcoming of small difficulties is the beginning of the path towards autonomy.
Repetition is the basis of autonomy for children
In order for children to achieve autonomy, they must have the opportunity to practice many times, until they get it right. No child puts on his socks the first time.
Autonomy requires time, patience and dedication on the part of parents. Encouraging them to do things for themselves, with much insistence, children often stop asking to be made and when they are better able to do it alone they stop crying so often.
Being autonomous makes them feel stronger and more capable, their self-esteem grows and they will hardly want to cry about everything.
Fear of everything, cries for everything
Sometimes, despite giving the opportunity to do things for yourself, the boy closes in band, keeps crying, does not show any initiative to solve what happens to him and above does not listen to our explanations.
Indeed, there are children who are very afraid of any motor situation of their age, such as a small jump, swing, climb the stairs of the slide, etc. They demand that you give them your hand for everything and, even so, they cry desperately to avoid that situation.
They are usually children surrounded by very protective adults, who have not allowed them to face small risks and grow up without the opportunity to prove to themselves that they are capable.
So, little by little, the difficulties they face are bigger and increasingly have fewer resources. At the same time, they begin to compare themselves with other children who censure them because they are afraid and the situation gets worse.
To help you we must transmit a blind trust in your abilities, since for a child it is vital the look, the voice and the attitude of their parents before the challenges they have to face.
Ideas to keep from crying for everything
1. Transmit confidence
Really, the most difficult thing is to transmit to the child the confidence necessary for him to believe in himself, from very small.The child is not weeping to annoy, he cries as a defense to a situation that overflows easily as we see it. You must convey to him with affection that you trust that he will overcome his fear of concrete things. It's not about not being afraid, it's about overcoming it, so as not to be so soft.
Explain that you trust that little by little he will be able to do things that now scare him Look for situations to practice, calmly and with a disposition to encourage, not censor. It can be very useful to write down your achievements on a blackboard or notebook, never failures. What it is about is to see if you can overcome yourself.
For example, if we play aiming, we will record the times it hits the target; with the practice, it will make more and more targets and that is what it has to live to the satiety, to see that it manages to surpass itself.
When they have negative experiences in the same situation it is very difficult to face it again with joy, on the contrary, every time it will be more pessimistic and the thought predicts the worst.
2. Teach you to think positive
Among the goals of your child's education, you should be teaching them to think positively, to see each new situation as a great opportunity, not as a torment.
Children are very sensitive to what their parents think of them, they realize by your attitude what you really think.
To help you overcome situations that block you more easily and stop crying, it will be much easier if you believe that you can really achieve it.
The child is slowly leaving his magical thinking and needs the thought that he is creating about himself to be positive. A thought trained at this age can do wonders.
If we can see the situations that have always scared him not as dragons that are going to devour him, but as magical situations where everything is possible, his attitude is very different.
To achieve this it is very useful to tell stories with characters that have characteristics similar to yours. Characters that are also weepers and that they have beautiful things so that they can identify and see that they have opportunities.
These stories have to be credible, that is, sometimes things do not go well, but sometimes they do. Make it very clear that you have to practice to get something, but that it is possible to do it.
Rosa Mª Palacios. Pedagogue Lenoarmi Method
