Extroverted and timid: how to achieve a communicative environment

Creating a communicative environment in the family is fundamental to ensure that both children with a shy temperament and extroverts can develop without difficulty both at home and away from home. Strengthen the autonomy and self-esteem of children is essential for them to have security when promoting their social relationships.

How to educate extroverted children

In principle, to be extroverted is an important advantage when it comes to socializing, as long as it is accompanied by affability, since a child with these characteristics will always have many unconditional friends. Being so nice, mom, dad, grandparents, etc., they will surely laugh their thanks, "How nice and clever it is!". This attitude is good, provided that laughing at everything you do does not mean too much consent for lack of limits to its open character.

Another risk, is that they have no problem to engage in conversations with any adult or even leave with him quietly: they are overconfident children, with them should be especially emphasized in their education in prudence. In this sense, they tend to give more information and explanations of the necessary, do not take into account the limit of privacy and later the sense of modesty. We must teach them that there are intimate things that can not be shared with other people; inculcate in them the sense of discretion and of knowing how to be; learn at what times and to whom things should be told.

The difficulties of shy children

From an early age, it is very important to work at home sociability -providing meetings with children of similar ages-, autonomy and self-esteem so that the child feels able to relate positively and effectively with others.
A young person with low self-esteem will be a shy child, with a tendency to be alone, afraid to seek new relationships and maintain contact with other children and adults. As soon as an older person turns to him, he will tend to hide behind Mom or not answer what is asked.

Another cause of excessive shyness, or lack of positive relationship strategies, is the overprotection that unconsciously the family tends to exercise with the youngest children and that is usually exacerbated by the child's incorporation into school.

5 basic ideas to socialize children

1. If the family is sociable, possibly the children will be more sociable.
2. Provide the child with positive encounters of relationship with their peers.
3. Establish since the beginning of an affective dialogue of security and trust.
4. Gradually develop their autonomy, adjusted to your age. Not to do for the child anything that he is capable of carrying out by himself.
5. Reinforce your self-esteem valuing their possibilities of action and relationship.

To promote children's communication, whether their character is extroverted or timid, it is important to promote the socialization of children. Some of these questions can make parents reflect on whether we are favoring the child's socialization.

How to achieve a communicative environment

We propose a series of questions to reflect on your specific case:

- Do you dialogue with your son in those moments you share with him? How much time do you spend to talk about your things and your things?

- Do you help him express his feelings after a conflict? Do you show empathic with your problems? Do you worry and so you show it to your child?

- Are you interested and ask about the things he does at school? Do you tell him the things you do at work?

- You ask him what he has played, with whom he plays?

- Do you know the children your son plays with? and with which it is usually related? Can you call them by their names?

- What are your favorite games? How do you play with them? Would you know how to play with them? How much time do you spend playing with your child?

- Do you worry about offering games appropriate to your age? and with those you can enjoy? Do you ask your teachers for advice on those games that can help your child? "Do you plan family activities at leisure time to enjoy with your children?

- Are you aware of your mood and behavior changes?

- Do you know your child and the physiological changes that occur with age? How will it affect you in your relationship with others? Have you tried to inform yourself of it? How much time do you spend reading documentation that guides you in the education of your children? How much time do you spend talking with your partner about each child? Are there improvement purposes?

Strengthen the autonomy and self-esteem of children

- Do you let the child do only what is already capable to do by itself? Or, on the contrary, do you stop proposing orders for fear or lack of confidence?

- Do you collect your toys? Is ordered? Do you help him do it by teaching him or do you just send him to do it?

- When dressing and undressing Do you take the opportunity to teach him how to do it? How to put your clothes? Do you dialogue with your child about what he / she is doing in each moment, telling him / her what each garment is called and what is it for? Do you take this time to talk about your things or just tell them how your day has gone (for example)?

- How do you prepare the moment of personal hygiene?

- At home you try to have breakfast, lunch or at least dinner all together, facilitating a dialogue with all the members, in which the smallest ones also participate?

- At home, do they all have a task or assignment? Is it distributed by age, by time, difficulty, etc.?

- Do you praise everything he manages to do? When correcting, do you do it with love, considering your affectivity?

- Do you make positive comments about your achievements?

- Do you propose suitable activities So that you can achieve them successfully and make a positive comment that increases your prestige among family members?

- Do you encourage him in difficult times? How?

- Do you stay vigilant? and you only offer your help in the necessary moments? In the education of children, are you a pre-active parent, trying to get ahead of the possible problems that may arise in the social relationship?

- Do you know the strengths of each child and you lean on them to stimulate them?

- Do you encourage him to overcome those things that cost him? How? "Do you value their achievements? How?

- Do you trust your possibilities?

Encourage social relationships

- Do you facilitate your meetings with other children of your age?

- Do you usually take him to the park?

- Do you organize a snack for your friends to come home so they can maintain a relationship?

- Do you plan excursions or outings with families that have children of their age?

- Do you plan your leisure time with activities, games or meetings with other children?

- Do you organize meetings with friends and family at home?

- Visits to grandparents and other relatives and friends?

- Do you praise his good social behavior when he has behaved correctly?

- Do you correct (with affection) the wrong social behavior when you are alone with him? Or on the contrary, do you feel so ashamed of the behavior, that you only punish him without telling him how he should have behaved and how upset he is?

- Do you explain in advance what is expected of him, of his behavior?

Ana Aznar
Advice: Malena Muñoz Garrosa

Video: How To Overcome Shyness - Transform Yourself Into An Extrovert