If envy were tinea ... 5 keys to overcome envy

The envy It is a natural and inherent feeling to people, since all of us have at some point felt envious. It is a painful feeling that has a very bad reputation, although we have all felt envy once, very few admit it. Feeling envious it is painful and socially it is a bad thing. But why are we envious? Is it good or bad to feel envious? How can we overcome envy? Understanding the mechanisms of envy will help us overcome it.

Envy is a social emotion

Envy is a very common sensation that causes suffering in many people, both in those who suffer envy and in the person object of envy. It is a social emotion because it is generated in society, as a result of the comparison with others.


The envy is an emotion that when we experience it, it generates an unpleasant sensation, a mixture of anger, frustration and sadness. It is characterized by the desire to have something that is lacking, but what others enjoy and is accompanied by the strong desire that others lose what you do not have.

Envy is thus closely linked to a blow to self-esteem. When we want something and we do not have it and at the same time we see that others have it, irrational ideas arise in our mind, we think that we are less valuable compared to others for having achieved what we want. But at the same time we can not admit those ideas and envy appears. Envy appears as a defense mechanism to our self-esteem, we react with that mixture of sadness, anger and frustration.


In turn, envy is a feeling that we should be ashamed of. From small they teach us that envy is bad, that being envious is not accepted. In this way, not only do we not accept those ideas that cause us envy, we also do not admit the same envy and masking, through offenses to the other, through resentment, hatred, etc.

What makes us more prone to envy?

The The origin of envy is in oneself, in the attitude that each one has to see life. Longing for what others have indicates low self-esteem, insecurity and selfishness. When you trust in your own abilities you do not feel frustrated to see others achieve their goals.

Why are we so envious?

Envy arises as a result of a social comparison. We live in a society where competition prevails and this inevitably leads to comparison and envy. We want everything and we want it already, and to see that others have any, or that they can stand out in something, makes us envious. If we are continuously comparing ourselves and continuously wanting to excel, to stand out, to want to be more than the others, it is inevitable to feel envious. We can not get away from ourselves, to put the point of view on others.


Keys to overcome envy.

Envy can be overcome, we can change our attitude and learn to value the achievements of others, and thus stop seeing them as a threat.

1. Take care of your self-esteem, Learning to love yourself is possible and is the first step to avoid being threatened by the abilities of others.

2. Change the perspective, modify your way of seeing things. Be clear that we are not in a competition and that your goals have to focus on yourself and on yourself, not on being more than others.

3. Learn to be less selfish and more generous. It's about collaborating with others and helping them achieve their goals.

4. Analyze your thoughts about the achievements of othersIt does not mean that you are less capable because others achieve their goals.

5. If you ever feel envyDo not be ashamed, do not deny the emotion. It is important to identify it and learn from it and from ourselves. Being aware of the emotion or feeling that we have without feeling guilty about it is essential to be able to face it and overcome it.

Celia Rodríguez Ruiz. Clinical health psychologist. Specialist in pedagogy and child and youth psychology. Director of Educa and Learn. Author of the collection Stimulate Reading and Writing Processes.

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