Patience, the basic ingredient to educate better
The patience of parents It is necessary at all times, especially when our youngest child is more conflicted than ever: tantrums, tantrums, stubbornness to the test of the quietest, see that they do not do the things we ask them, but quite the contrary, despite the fact that We have repeated many times (they are testing us) etc. It's easy to get the "nerves on edge", but we have to assume that Without exercising our patience, the educational work will be very costly.
Losing patience and nerves is the order of the day, especially with the accelerated life we lead. After a day of work in which we end up exhausted, it is common that often we can not stay calm when we get home and see what awaits us: more work and care for children, who are sometimes quite heavy.
Patience: children are not adults
An error that we parents often fall into is to expect a logic and a way of thinking of our children from our children. It is intended and expected that the children do everything right the first time: that they have good manners and behave correctly, that their results are impeccable, that they obey the first and without any problems and that everything is of the approval of the elderly.
1. Parents should guide the behaviors of children. Many times we do not realize that the child comes as a blank book and our mission is "write "in him the behaviors, habits and values that he will need for his adult life. And besides, it is not something that is assimilated from one day to the next. We can not assume that our young child knows perfectly what it is to live in society, is not clear what the rules are and their learning process is in full swing.
2. Parents must put ourselves in our child's place. So we do not lose patience unfairly. For example, it can happen that the child, still small and clumsy of movements, stumbles up the stairs of our hand. Given this setback, the reaction may be "But Pedro, what are you doing? Do not you see where you're going?" and we do not fall into what has been a minor accident, in which the stairs can be tall and difficult to climb for the child and above all ... that he has not done it on purpose!
Patient parents, patient children
Parents are aware that we are called to teach virtues to our son, and that our example is crucial. Patience is a virtue, and therefore, we have to exercise it if we want to transmit it to the child.
Sometimes, lack of patience can indirectly affect our child, without our exercising it against him. For example, if we go with the child in the car and he sees us getting angry with the other drivers, we will be doing him a disservice when it comes to educating him. In addition, these situations in which the child is witness to our tension, can make you very nervous. In the same way, they will also end up copying our behavior, and if their parents get angry easily and show a bad temper, then they will do the same when they have a crooked day. Given this attitude on the part of our son, we parents will probably get on our nerves * and if we want to avoid a "vicious circle", we will adopt a calm attitude even in uncomfortable situations.
And being patient is essential to withstand the setbacks with which we can meet, and in the education of our son we will live a few. Patience allows us to clearly appreciate the origin of the problems that affect us and, consequently, we can deduce what is the best way to solve them. It brings us serenity before the obstacles that life has.
Educating requires a maximum degree of patience
Sometimes it can make us nervous that our son does not obey or is not able to do well at first the small assignments that we have entrusted him.
The educational process requires a maximum degree of patienceOn the one hand, the child must be trained to participate according to his or her strengths in the tasks that we entrust to him, and on the other hand, we can not give him more commissions and responsibilities than he can have.
You have to know in each moment to yield or not to yield, demand or compromise. Although three times we have to get up to collect the water that our son has spilled while trying to fill the jar, the fourth will have learned to do it and he will be happier to see that he is able to do things right. But to get this learning to go well, we must repress our nerves and our desires for things to come out the first time.
Given this, it should be noted that calm is the best weapon to educate. An aggressive attitude on our part does not get the child to learn, but rather that puts barriers to prevent this reaction in their parents and avoid disappointment.It is possible that, for example, in the future, that child does not hesitate to lie about his grades or even about the plans he makes outside the home, because when he knows the negative reactions of his parents, he prefers to avoid problems like that.
Conchita Requero
Advice: Eusebio Ferrer. Bachelor of Science in Information and Family Counselor
