Advice from pediatricians to reveal a child who is adopted

When and how is it necessary to reveal a child who is adopted? What is the best way to tell this story to the little ones without hurting them? The Spanish Association of Pediatricsa, AEP, gives a series of tips so that parents can talk with their children about this matter in a simple way so they can understand everything.

They must be the adoptive parents

The first thing pediatricians recommend is for parents adoptive who reveal this matter to the adopted children. If they find out in another way, it is possible that in the children there is a feeling of rejection and distrust for having hidden this issue from them. In addition, they may see adoption as a bad thing, of what has been preferred not to speak, and that apparently embarrasses the parents who exercise it.

The goal should be that the child know and remember your past to integrate it as another part of its history. This way, he can start the mourning that the separation of the biological family and the environment in which he had lived at first could cause. The sooner you begin to assimilate this point of your life, the sooner you will be able to overcome it and live your life fully.

What is the best way to reveal that you are adopted?

There is no perfect moment from which to be able to reveal this situation to the adopted children. Many experts believe that it should be done as soon as possible to give the child the opportunity to accept and integrate the idea that he has been adopted. Parents must understand that regardless of the fear that the appearance of the biological familyIt is not fair for your adopted children to silence that information. The little ones have the right to know their origins.

The idea is to make adopted children reconcile with their past, so there is no need to invent points in history in order to "sweeten". According to the pediatricians, this ends up causing the children to fill gaps in their past with false elements that can make them think that they have been bad children and that is why their biological parents did not want to take care of them.

The role of adoptive parents

The adoptive parents must understand that their children were born in another family. That is why they have to provide all the information that they know about the biological family of the adopted child and accept this other story of the child.

If the adopted child wants to take this issue, parents should do everything possible to encourage this conversation and answer all the minor's doubts, adapting them to their age. You should always let him know that he was not at fault and that he is very loved in the adoption family. A good example is showing how you have integrated into your new home and how well you get along with the people around you.

Damián Montero

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