Free yourself from mental rigidity: a blockage that prevents you from growing
On many occasions, we tend to develop a certain rigidity in our way of thinking and we ourselves condition our way of acting, and even feeling. Mental rigidity It means clinging to certain beliefs that can limit us, and accept them as absolute truths. We live in a changing world, in a world full of tonalities and possibilities, and clinging to "should", to "must be like this", can cause us much suffering.
What do we understand by mental rigidity?
Mental rigidity is a way of thinking which is characterized by the strong roots of certain beliefs or ways of thinking, which are mainly about oneself. Often, we think about ourselves formulating the "should or should ...". In this way, our thoughts can be of the type: "I should be a better person", "I should have reacted in this way", "to be happy I should ...", "my partner, father, sister, should ... "
There is nothing wrong with setting goals, trying to be a better person and trying to be happy, on the contrary, it is positive for us. The problem comes when we are rigid with our "shoulds". Sometimes, these can not be fulfilled for reasons beyond our control, and in these cases, when this rigid belief is not fulfilled, we enter emotional distress.
Consequences of excessive mental rigidity
When we are excessively rigid with ourselves, this determines our behavior and our emotions.
1. We set goals too high. And we force ourselves to feel bad if we do not get them. It is good to set goals, and also if they are high, but it is not good to feel bad in the process, sometimes we will not get it the first time, and feeling bad about it can lead us to abandon the goal and feel frustrated.
2. Our "shoulds" are usually beliefs that we have developed in childhood and they tend to be good for most situations, but it may happen that in certain situations they are not good options, or we can not comply with the "should". For example: "Before the exam you should study", we all know that this is the best thing for us, but if before the exam we are ill and have a fever, we will not be able to study. In these cases, we enter into a conflict with ourselves that generates discomfort.
3. Stiffness limits us to understand other people. When we think that others "should" ... we can not put ourselves in their place. Maybe they also have their beliefs.
4. Putting aside mental rigidity allows us to think differently, and therefore, adopt other points of view, and be more flexible with ourselves and with others, which leads us to adapt better to the changes.
What can we do to free ourselves from mental rigidity?
Freeing ourselves from mental rigidity will mean important benefits for us, but to get rid of this way of thinking we have to change some things:
1. Step by step, it's about going little by little. The first step is to change the "should" by "I would like". Thus, we continue to maintain our goals, but we are more flexible: Instead of "I should study for the exam", we will think in the "I would like to study for the exam" mode.
2. Analyze your way of thinking and pay attention to your "should" to change them little by little by "I would like".
3. Listen to other points of view and try to put yourself in perspective.
Celia Rodríguez Ruiz. Clinical health psychologist. Specialist in pedagogy and child and youth psychology. Director of Educa and Learn. Author of the collection Stimulate Reading and Writing Processes.
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