The 10 most frequent mistakes that parents make when educating
All parents try to educate with the best of our intentions. Usually, we have doubts like: have I been too hard on him? Do I have to punish him? Am I doing it right? And on many occasions we are wrong. Knowing how to recognize our mistakes is the first step to try to do better, that is, to be better parents. Here are the 10 most frequent mistakes that parents make when educating.
The problem is that in education there are no magic recipes. We can only follow some guidelines that we know work, try to maintain the unity between parents and educators and base our teachings, especially in the example. Although the list of what needs to be done is hard to pin down, we can remember what we should not do.
10 common mistakes in the education of children
1. Excess of overprotection
Many parents make the mistake of giving their children reason to a teacher, of intervening whenever a problem arises or of doing their homework rather than helping them. In short, parents who tend to organize their children's lives to prevent them from making mistakes. This excess of overprotection is very negative, because it favors children becoming dependent, insecure and unable to make decisions on their own.
2. Loss of proof
It usually happens that parents tend to educate according to their mood. It is important to keep in mind that parents must be constant and know that the education of children does not work in stages, but rather it is a continuous process and in which it is essential to be constant.
3. Lack of consensus among parents
It is common to find parents who take the reason away from each other in front of the child. This fact generates confusion among the little ones and makes the learning process very difficult, since the child perceives disunity. First of all, parents have to be a block when making decisions.
4. Punish incorrectly
Many parents in a moment of anger can impose disproportionate and unattainable punishments that often do not apply. If these penalties are not applied, the parents lose authority. Therefore, it is better to use the concept of responsibility derived from an act, which entails proportional and moderate actions, whose fulfillment is feasible.
5. Promise and not carry out
It is a mistake to promise your children a prize or a reward and then not to give it to them, because the child loses motivation and becomes sad. It is important to set specific conditions: "if you get a major in mathematics, I'll buy you a mobile". However, giving prizes without having complied with the agreement means an even greater error.
6. Treat your children as friends
Parents must bear in mind that they are a symbol of authority for their children and that the relationship with them can not be equal. There are aspects of the children's life that like going to school, doing homework or bedtime, we must maintain our authority
7. Establish comparisons with siblings
Comparing a child with his brother does not have any positive effect, because although there are desires for improvement, jealousy can be generated that breaks the family spirit. The psychologist and pedagogue, ex-Defender of the Minor, Javier Urra points out that "continued comparisons between brothers arouse jealousy, envy and harm". Parents know that their children are not the same, so when it comes to educating them they also have to take into account what are the strengths and weaknesses of each one and not demand them equally.
8. Excessive negativity
Children with negative and pessimistic parents tend to have a more plaintive and offensive character, they will see life as a criticism and will not know how to value the positive aspects and the qualities they possess.
9. Be permissive with new technologies
Technologies offer many advantages, but misuse has very negative effects. Many children spend hours and hours glued to the screens of their mobile phones. It is common that even during meals are using the smartphone so that communication breaks down in the family. Given this, parents must prevail and not let this practice become a habit.
10. Shout and label
It is important for parents to learn not to lose their papers when their child has done something wrong. Phrases like "you are stupid", "I already knew that you were going to break it" or "you do not serve at all" cause a lot of damage in children. Parents have to assume, above all, their role as adults and not behave like children entering dynamics such as "if he does not speak to me, neither do I."
It may interest you:
- Educate together: the main lines of Family Education
- Personalize the education of your children
- How to avoid child overprotection
- Authoritarian parents or parents with authority