Types of parents: which do you identify with?
Educating a child is not easy, you have to have patience, perseverance and empathy. The type of education we give our children will influence the development of their personality. And we are not referring exclusively to The education they receive at school, but to the family.
All parents want our children to become good people and know how to behave correctly. For this, we must transmit them positive values since we were kids. Everything they learn in the family will later transfer them to their own lives.
What kind of parents are we?
Not all people are equal and therefore not all parents educate their children in the same way. Pedro García Aguado and Francisco Castaño Mena tell us in their latest book "Learning to educate 2" from the Grijalbo publishing house, the models of parents we can find:
- Authoritarians: those who impose and exercise a great control and authority over their children. They usually do it through the affirmation of power (this is done because I say so) and they send and order the son without any reason. Children tend to be depressed or adopt a tyrannical personality.
- Overprotectors: "Overly alarmist and fearful, they protect their children so much from any danger they may be exposed to that they end up deny them the opportunity to relate to the world "- This is how Aguado and Castaño define it in their book, they limit or prevent their children from knowing and exploring the world for themselves, and when their child makes a mistake, they cover up, ignore or justify it. They call them from school, they always justify their children, The fact that they think their children are crystal leads to a feeling in children of insecurity and little value.
- Colleagues: They consider themselves friends of their children and therefore, they are usually very permissive. They do not make clear the limits and consequently, neither the family hierarchy. This causes a feeling of superiority in the child and leads to uncontrolled attitudes or tyranny. What sets a father apart from a friend is authority, which should not be confused with authoritarianism. The hierarchy at home is necessary.
- Manipulators: They use blackmail to get their children to do what they want. As a consequence, children apply this behavior to all areas of their lives: whenever they want to achieve something, they will turn to the blackmail. "They promise and give gifts in exchange for the obedience of the son."
- Those who do not go to the same time: Pedro García and Francisco Castaño define them as "those who do not decide in common what is best for their children and that perhaps, by thinking in the opposite way they contradict"They tend to occur in cases of divorced parents, the child goes to the mother or the father and when he receives a negative response he tries with the other person of the couple, this usually generates many arguments in the couple, generates a lot of instability in the child and in the family
- Empathic: They know how to put themselves in the shoes of their child and therefore help them cope with negative feelings such as fear, sadness or anger. They tend between them and their children a bridge of trust and sincerity and at the same time they have the capacity to teach their children. As a result, children have a greater control over your emotions and it is easier for them, for example, to cry out when they are agitated.
In short we can classify all these types of parents in two large groups: those that encourage a positive attitude (know how to listen, communicate, set limits *) and on the other hand those that encourage a tyrannical attitude (authoritarian parents, colleagues, manipulators *)
7 keys to improve your child's education
Being a father is sometimes complicated, so here we leave you a series of tips to educate your children in a positive way.
1. Let them experiment even if they are wrong: Many times we try to protect our children so that they do not comment on the failures we see coming. However, committing these failures is part of the children's educational process. We must let them comment and realize what has led them there and how they can solve it.
2. Do not compare or disqualify: This can generate a feeling of inferiority in the child, thinking that it is never good enough. This develops insecurity. There are avoiding phrases like "learn from your brother".
3. Limits and discipline without threats: It is important to establish a set of guidelines or norms and that they are complied with but never in a forced manner or with threats. We must make children understand why it is important that they comply with them.
4. Reinforce good things: Many times we forget to remind our children of all positive things. It is as important to rectify your bad behaviors as to reinforce the good ones. Children are very sensitive and disqualifying can affect them greatly.
5. Be patient and constant: this generates a much warmer and more relaxed environment.Children learn to enjoy this environment and are more opposed to breaking this calm.
6. Encourage your creativity: play with them and stimulate their imagination so that the child acquires good habits through games and in a fun way, such as brushing teeth.
7. Trust: If your children have a problem or should make a difficult decision, show them your support and affection. They should know that you are there to advise them or give them your vision of the problem.
María Rojas Sanabria
