3 common mistakes in the education of children
Exercising as parents is not an easy task, the task of educating goes far beyond providing food and sustenance, but also includes the support and respect that facilitates the development of the child, the establishment of standards and discipline, teach habits, transmit values, encourage your autonomy, etc.
All parents want the best for their children and try to educate them in the best way possible, however, there are day-to-day situations that make this task more complicated, such as lack of time, fatigue, being worried about something, overwork, etc., all this means that we did not act in the most correct way for the good education of the children.
Parents have a great influence on the behavior of children, this behavior is learned and is influenced by the education they received from their parents, but everything that is learned can be unlearned and modified.
The 3 most common mistakes when it comes to educating children
1. The inconsistency. This means lack of stability and coherence in the strategies used by parents when it comes to educating their children. Inconsistent parents modify unpredictably and arbitrarily rules, rules and discipline at different times, the consequences applied by the infraction of the rule are different each time. If we send our son to bed and he asks us if he can stay a while longer and we say no, the child can not accept the refusal. If the child asks again and presses a little to stay and finally we say yes, the child learns that all he has to do is keep insisting and in this way, eventually, he will not become a yes. In addition, it often happens that the father and mother act in a contradictory manner with respect to the norms set by them and the consequences agreed upon by non-compliance with these norms.
2. Excessive permissiveness. As an educational guideline, exercise little control over the behavior of their children, not having clear rules and accept the behavior of children do what they do to be happy and not suffer, can cause many problems in children. Minors need a structured environment with rules that help them know how to behave, need supervision and control to feel safe. Excessive permissiveness can generate feelings of confusion and anxiety in children that hinders their development and autonomy.
3. The rigidity. The lack of flexibility causes parents to have a very limited repertoire of educational strategies, whatever happens always act in the same way, no matter what the child has done and there is no room for dialogue, "this is because I say it I". Parents who are very rigid are not able to take into account the contextual factors in which the child's behavior takes place, to use reasoning or to adjust the intensity of the discipline according to the severity of the behavior. This causes our children to become insecure, with low self-esteem and with little initiative because they expect to be told what to do.
Nobody teaches us to be parents, it is something that is learned as we face different situations. Educating our children requires a balance that allows them to move from dependence when they are small to autonomy as they grow up, thus enhancing the physical, psychological and social development of children and adolescents.
Original article written by the psychologist Rocío Navarro, author of the blog Psicolari, integral psychology.
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