5 ingredients needed in a couple relationship

Today we all know couples, friends, family ... we have seen a relationship start with a lot of enthusiasm, energy, confidence, dedication ... and yet, after a few years we have seen as little by little all that enthusiasm it has been turning into complaints, dislikes, fights ... Possibly this has happened to us. What happens so that the relationship changes? Do not we love each other? Is not love enough?

Relationships are not simple. At the beginning everything is wonderful, the person you are with makes you feel special, you are attentive to each other, you do not miss anything, our efforts are aimed at making the person next to us happy, we are complacent and not It is an effort to be like that. However, with the passage of time the relationship undergoes some changes.

What is a relationship based on?

When we think of a relationship, we imagine two people who get along, have good communication, have fun together, rely on difficult times, are accomplices, who share hobbies, tastes and much more, share their lives and are happy . With this description ... who would not want a partner!

The reality is that we all carry in our backpack several failed relationships, in which love has not been enough and we have been learning that having a good relationship and getting to get the image we have of "ideal partner" is a complicated task .

Imagine a plant, to live needs water, light, earth, oxygen and be taken care of, without these conditions it will end up withering. Well, a couple relationship also needs to be taken care of, it needs respect, trust, understanding, sacrifice and many other things, otherwise it will end up wilting, just like the plant.

Phases in a relationship

Relationships go through several phases, in the course of these phases many problems can arise. Knowing the different stages can help us identify the problems and solve them.

1. Phase of falling in love. In this stage we experience very positive emotions of great intensity towards the other person, we are impulsive, we give everything for the other person regardless of what we receive in return. Passion and romance are very present.

2. Adaptation. Increase the level of confidence, passion and romance continue. Both partners feel safe and trust each other. We are showing ourselves as we are and there is a differentiation between me as an individual and us as a couple.

3. Coexistence. After the period of knowledge, it is decided to go a step further, future plans are made, coexistence begins and the construction of a future in common. At this stage the first serious conflicts may appear, the routine which makes it necessary to seek agreements and negotiate.

4. Adaptation. In this stage we know perfectly the person in front of us, we may have solved countless setbacks and our relationship is strengthened or the rupture appears. In this stage there are different changes such as independence of the children, retirement ... and it becomes a moment of reunion with our partner.

We have already seen that maintaining a relationship is complicated, many of the problems that arise when we share our life with someone are caused by a bad and even null communication, by lack of respect, by not respecting the space of the other and endless more situations.

For a relationship to work, it is necessary to have different ingredients, some of them are;

1. Reciprocity. In all relationships, even those of a couple there must be an exchange in which the two parties come out winning, at the moment in which one of the parties feels that it gives more than receives the problems arise. Take care of the little details.

2. Respect. It is the basis of a healthy relationship. The couple is like a team, where the two share the same objective and fight together to achieve it. Help, cooperation and understanding are signs of respect for our partner.

3. Communication. Through this we transmit what we think, we negotiate, we show feelings, emotions ... for there to be good communication in the couple we must be able to express calmly and actively listen. Only through clear and precise communication can the couple effectively solve problems and provide mutual support and intimacy.

4. Flexibility In the relationships of couple appear many situations in which we need to negotiate, a requirement to negotiate is to be flexible, to know how to give way, I will not always be right and I will not always leave with mine, if this happens the relationship will probably be go wearing.

5. Trust It is a basic pillar in any relationship, if I do not trust the other person I can not let it be free, that it be developed, because I will always be doubting its actions and questioning its words. In a relationship everyone must have their space and trust is the requirement that makes it possible.

Rocío Navarro Psychologist Director of Psicolari, integral psychology