Wars, terrorism ... Educate children before tragedies
Should we talk about terrorism, violence, fear and death with children ...? Yes, but with certain educational criteria. They are important issues that, like us, can hit hard in your head and in your soul. Children need many opportunities to express their feelings about how they assume the various tragedies they see or those they hear.
We must be attentive to signs that may show an emotional crisis, such as frequent crying, nightmares, sudden and irrational fears, extreme irritability ...
We live among news and images of various disasters and tragedies. ¿Are they affected by television news images? How can we help them understand and overcome the harsh reality that television and newspapers offer us almost every day? In adults, if they have not become desensitized, they can create a wide range of emotions: sadness, anger, fear ... But our children can also develop similar feelings, although perhaps their way of expressing it is different and that is why we do not lend them the necessary attention.
Sincerity, but with tact before the tragedy
For this reason, and in the first place, You should be honest... but with tact. If our children are already mature enough to ask questions about what happens, they will also be able to understand the reasons. They can process an honest and sincere explanation. If, on the other hand, we fail to speak frankly with them we can erode their confidence in adults. Explanations of what has happened must not be sweetened or information provided that is not very accurate.
For some children, especially those who are very young or have an inclination to anxiety, it may be necessary to take certain measures: Limit exposure time to disturbing images in the media; avoid excessive conversation about these tragedies ... Even so, parents and teachers should give them the precise information, with the necessary prudence.
Fair words and language appropriate to the child's age
We must use a language appropriate to the development of each of the children when it comes to talking about the existence of evil in the world. Young guys may not understand concepts like "evil", "horrible people", but in fact they understand the idea that a person can behave badly, badly enough.
Expression: the drawings also speak
Children need many opportunities to express their feelings about how they assume the various tragedies they see or those they hear. Perhaps, some older children can more deftly express their feelings with words. Parents, and teachers, should give importance to what they say in case there are signs of deeper trauma. With younger children you should pay attention to other ways of expression: drawings, behaviors, tics, etc.
As has been seen in many cases, children who have experienced certain tragedies soon begin to incorporate what happened in their drawings and manual works. It is important to keep in mind that such expressions reflect a natural and healthy process of a traumatic event. That they make buildings explode, or paint the war, does not indicate, for example, a lack of respect for the dead, nor is it a sign that the boys might be capable of such acts in the future.
Traumas: attention to signals
There are several signs that can indicate a more serious traumatic stress in children. Some children, especially those who are more sensitive or who have been directly exposed to events, may suffer serious emotional reactions. You should be aware of the signs that show one of these emotional crises, such as frequent crying, nightmares, sudden and irrational fears, extreme irritability ... If they show any of these symptoms, it might be advisable to contact a health professional.
Resilience and resilience
Anyway, we must remember that the small ones are resistant. In Psychology there is an increasing talk of "resilience", that is, the capacity to resist adversity. It is a mechanism of self-protection formed first by the affective bonds with which each child counts and then by the expression of emotions.
When they have had abundant opportunities to express and process their feelings, the boys put the traumatic events in place often long before the adults. Going back to normal routines as soon as possible will help facilitate this process. When it seems that the children have recovered, you should not force a discussion about the tragedy. It is much better to trust that resistance of children, showing us attentive but "at a distance". It is something that strongly reminds us that life goes on.
Advice to educate in the face of tragedy
1. You should always control what your children watch on television, and in front of the strong images it is necessary to pay special attention.Many media seek impact and sensationalism without taking into account the sensitivity of those who consume their products.
2. Boys and girls know how to distinguish between violence and real tragedies from simulated ones and, therefore, they are not affected so much by war films. In any case, the values transmitted by such films may not be as consistent with what we try to teach them at home.
3. Enjoy safety and a quiet environment, Just as knowing that their parents love them is what gives them the most strength. Thus they prove that they are not alone and that their parents are responsible for protecting them.
4. Family routines help them feel more secure. Often, fears emerge at the time of going to sleep. Therefore, you should take time at night to enjoy with your children and it can be a good time to pray for the victims or the injured.
5. The way in which we face a tragedy it greatly influences them. Therefore, we must try to trust our spouse a lot, talk to a good friend or professional to leave our fears there before transmitting them to the little ones.
A healthy way to deal with traumatic events is to take some action that benefits those affected, such as volunteering, donating clothes or money or praying for the victims. Doing something is a very powerful way to send the message that even from the greatest of tragedies good may arise.
Ricardo Regidor
