Limits on education: why should we set standards for children?

The limits are like a road map that we offer to our children. As they grow, they learn through limits: what is "yes", what is "no" and what is "you choose", because there are things that are optional. The limits do not force the person, the limits mark routes. They are maps, and one can take one route or another, but the important thing is to know that there are different routes and that child, from our hand, will learn to decide with daily practice, guided by us.

Of all the series of skills, strategies and knowledge that we acquire throughout life, there are some fundamentals: the rules of coexistence and social relationship, which are, neither more nor less, the limits that we encounter every day. All of us, as adults, have limits to function. If you want to drive 140 km / h on a city street, you will meet someone who is going to fine you; If you want to get to the office at any time, surely someone will tell you what day you do not have to return, etc.


Why should we set limits and standards for our children?

The limits give children many positive qualities:

1. Security A child learns to walk through life knowing what he can do and what he can not do; what is allowed and what is not allowed You have to know, in addition, that children will try to pass that limit because it is a way of knowing what it is. And he's going to check if what we told him we did afterwards. If I start to leave because I'm tired, because I do not feel like it, because my head hurts, because "well, tomorrow I talk to him", in reality, the message is "mom or dad says you do not play, but you can play " Children do not learn with words, they learn with behaviors.


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2. Protection. Children learn early on that if an adult takes the trouble to explain, to punish him, to expect him to comply, to get him out of trouble, to explain to him again ... it is because he wants to protect him. Obviously, they will not say it with words: "Thanks, mom, for leaving me without television because I know you want to protect me." That is why, through repetition, over the years they understand it.

3. Facing social situations successfully. The limits make children more successful in different social situations, because something that limits teach is to respect the right of the other. We, when we limit our children, we teach them that there is a point for everything, and that when we try to pass that barrier, we find the rights of another, that we should not invade.


4. Development of a high self-esteem. Self-esteem is how we see ourselves, how we love each other, how much we love each other and how we value what we are and what we do.

5. Self-control They learn the responsibility of their own behavior, they learn to function knowing that one does something and everything that one does has its consequence. And since they learn that at home, outside the home they do not find it strange, and they learn to accept responsibility for their actions. All our choices have their consequences; Sometimes, we make mistakes when choosing, and it also has its consequences.

6. Moral development. Knowing how the world works, knowing where a person's rights start, where my rights end, what I can do and what I can not do, good things and bad things, things allowed and things not allowed, is fundamental to moral development.

Ignacio Iturbe

Video: Good boundaries free you | Sarri Gilman | TEDxSnoIsleLibraries


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