Respect in the family: keys to improve in authority
Teachers and educators know from experience that a well-understood authority gets the child's respect and it is the cornerstone to develop balanced and happy people. But, to create a climate of respect in the family, what are the keys to improving in authority?
There are people who come out only; They have authority as by nature. They do not need to be angry, it is enough for them to say it once to be obeyed ... People who, with clear and simple instructions, at once manage to unanimously obey dozens of wills that seemed to be out of control.
But this does not have to be normal; there are always people specially gifted in all human qualities and in authority it was not going to be less. The normal thing will be, therefore, that authority is achieved through effort.
Parents with authority: between theory and practice
Parents should use their authority to organize their family in a sensible, coordinated and fruitful manner, according to the project with which they have supposedly founded their home.
Unlike business managers, parents do not have paid employees at their service to get their family project, but send their children to those who can not dismiss. A characteristic of parental authority is its motivational cover. The children see in the authority of their parents a reason for the action.
In theory, parents know how to do it, but then in practice it is more difficult, since one day is worth it but every day, you end up giving up and you win the battle ... It is reasonable that they deflate on a daily basis for lack of time, of ideas, by excess of fatigue, of difficulties ..., ending all this in the lack of motivation for the home affairs.
Keys to improve in authority
It is not necessary to point out that the first and most important, common to all, are the personal qualities and the exemplarity in what one wants to be authoritative.
1. Effort From the outset, to show authority it is necessary to go ahead in the effort, combining the dedication to the family with the daily racking to achieve professional goals. If other tasks hinder the necessary dedication to the home, the father or mother, with humility, must recognize it, say it and seek a joint remedy as soon as possible.
2. Anticipation. Usually, the lack of time is usually predictable and therefore, can not serve as an excuse; we must anticipate. The father (and in less proportion, the mother) must guarantee that his main functions are carried out. If you do not have the necessary time you should look for the formula to make the home work by sharing tasks. There are jobs that parents can delegate, taking into account whenever the execution is delegated but not responsibility.
3. Listening ability. To improve in authority, the father and the mother must develop their capacity to listen. Moreover, they are positively interested in having children more valuable than them, in order to learn and the whole family to improve. That the children are better in certain skills or knowledge does not diminish at all the value of the authority of the parents.
Listening to the children or the couple is not merely to hear them, it means accepting their most valuable points of view, recognizing that everyone partially contemplates reality - also he - and that precisely because of this, when making head he must be able to add complementary, that enrich the whole.
4. Search for the common good. Parents must combine the desire to achieve family progress with seeking the particular good of each of the children. In the long term, these two objectives feed on each other.
Parents who blindly look for their children to obey can easily enter into a state of victimhood when they see that their children do not respond to the project they were dreaming about. This attitude poisons the family atmosphere and counteracts authority because parents only see negative aspects in their children and they do not feel valued by their parents.
In these cases, without removing or putting the reason, the most effective is to discover the positive of each one. Neither parents are good, nor children are bad. Not the opposite. Seemingly insignificant events can change the mood and even the consideration of oneself or others. We must be careful not to make radical assessments of isolated actions.
Issues for self-evaluation
1. Do you avoid giving orders under the effects of precipitation, pride or fury?
2. Before giving an order, do you assure yourself a) that it is necessary (and compatible with the rest of your obligations) b) that it is achievable by the child who is to execute it?
3. Do you know how to keep the right measure between avoiding orders or entrusting matters and the habit of giving them compulsively?
4. When you ask something of your children "you almost ask for forgiveness", do you give many explanations? Or do you command arrogance?
5. Do you avoid sending on a whim? But in turn, do you demand that what is sent is fulfilled, without leaving unresolved issues?
Tips to improve in authority
- Think before speak and give orders as accurately as possible.
- Ask for an account of what is in charge. Keep track of the most significant orders so that they are not forgotten.
Luis Manuel Martínez. Doctor in Pedagogy
Advice: Cristina Gil Gil, teacher and author of the book La profe responds. Advice for educational concerns of parents.
