Toxic people: learn to recognize them
There is a type of people, recently known as toxic people, which are those that generate complicated relationships, that seek confrontation and that in the end turn out to be harmful people for development and well-being. Be able to recognize the toxic people, and having the ability to deal with them or get away from them is essential for our well-being.
The human being is a social being by nature, relationships with others are an important part of his life. In our day to day we interact and interact with many people. This interaction with others constitutes our social life which is very important for the well-being of people. Healthy and enriching relationships will be a source of learning and development and, in turn, insane relationships interfere with our well-being and development.
Toxic people: learn to recognize them in your environment
Probably, throughout life we will have had many relationships with other people, some more intense than others, some important and others not. If we analyze the different relationships, surely we remember or maybe we recognize in our present, some toxic person that in spite of maintaining a friendship, and feeling affection towards it, it generates damage and discomfort. We do not refer to sporadic conflicts, in any relationship it is natural that there is some conflict. We refer to damage, discomfort, guilt, irritability, fears, etc. that takes place without there being conflict and without us being aware of it. If you've had someone like that in your life or you have it right now, it's probably a toxic friendship.
Why are some people toxic?
The first thing we are going to analyze is why some people are toxic. People go through a process of development and learning from the moment of birth. In this process we forge our identity, supporting it in self-esteem and self-concept, and we define our way of thinking, feeling and acting. The experiences lived and the way of interpreting and feeling those experiences will be crucial for the development and formation of the identity.
In this process some people have probably interpreted damages and insults, have experienced alleged injustices against their person, certain or not, and as a mechanism of protection of their self they have developed an extreme defense of it. In this way they become people who in their interior, in their truest self, have a great burden and discontent with themselves and with others. That discontent spreads like a poison inside, a noxious substance that devours them inside.
They are people who little by little develop:
1. Negative thoughts: they see problems and insults everywhere.
2. Cognitive distortions: they interpret reality in a biased way, with beliefs of the type are all against me, others pass good things that they do not deserve, etc.
3. Negative habits and attitudes.
They are people who vent, spreading their negative habits with everyone who crosses their path.
Types of toxic people
A toxic person is a negative person that generates discomfort or damage, there are different types. Often the toxic person usually presents several of these types.
1. Envious. He is a person who is not happy with his own achievements, when others get something, he can not bear it because it reminds him of his own failure. It will try to boycott the achievements of others. An envious looking for allies to disqualify the achievements of others.
2. Gossip Gossippers are people who normally have an empty life and have to fill it with other people's experiences. They tend to talk constantly about others.
3. Manipulator. It is the person who manipulates others to achieve their goals. Enjoy desensitizing others.
4. Pessimist. That person who sees everything negative. Negative thinking is the dominant note.
5. Socio-psychopath. They are very dangerous and highly toxic people. They are people who move through relationships manipulating, and using others for their own benefit. All others make mistakes, except themselves, are not able to see their own mistakes but those of others.
6. Authoritarian. They are people who use fear and threats so that their wishes are fulfilled. It would be the typical friend who gets angry if you do not do what he wants.
7. Neurotic. They are insecure people who need to rely on others to gain security. They will be very dependent people and will always ask for attention, they are selfish and will do anything to get attention.
How to recognize toxic people?
Toxic people tend to be manipulative, they use their grief and make us feel guilty by hooking us into their networks. Recognizing a toxic person can be complicated, so we must pay close attention.
- If it makes you feel bad, it generates conflicts or some type of damage too often.
- You often get angry with her, but then you feel sorry.
- Pay attention to different types and identify their traits.
How to act with a toxic person?
If we are really facing a toxic person we only have two options:
1. Put limits and do not let us intoxicate. For example, with the gossip we will avoid talking about others, we will change the subject or we will say directly that we are not interested in knowing those things.
2. Stay away from the toxic person. If even putting limits, we continue to suffer the consequences of toxic people maybe we should get away.
Celia Rodríguez Ruiz. Clinical health psychologist (collegiate number M-27405), specialist in pedagogy and child and youth psychology. Director of Educa and Learn. Author of the collection Stimulate Reading and Writing Processes.
