How to detect domestic violence and what to do
On November 25 of each year the whole world joins to commemorate the struggle for the elimination of violence against women, a form of abuse that at home also takes the name of the so-called gender violence or domestic violence.
Why the day against Gender Violence is commemorated
The UN defends the establishment of this day for several reasons, starting with the most important: "violence against women is a violation of human rights." In addition, the United Nations recalls that this type of violence is a consequence "of the discrimination suffered by women, both in law and in practice, and the persistence of inequalities due to gender."
"The violence against women affects and prevents progress in many areas, "the UN adds on its website, where it explains that among these areas are the eradication of poverty, the fight against HIV / AIDS and peace and security.
Another maxim is the one that guides everyone to raise their voices this day (and the rest of the year): that violence against women and girls can be avoided. "Prevention is possible and essential," they insist, while lamenting that, despite the efforts, violence against women "continues to be a global pandemic", because One out of every three women in the world has suffered some kind of violence in their life.
First signs of abuse
Within its role in the fight against the abuse of women, the Ministry of Health, Social Services and Equality has developed a series of guides to help detect domestic violence, also known as gender violence and stop it. According to these documents, these are the first symptoms of abuse. That is, you may be suffering abuse if your partner or ex-partner does any of the following:
- Ignore or despise your feelings frequently
- Ridicule, insults or despises women in general
- Humiliates, shouts or insults you in private or in public
- Threatening to hurt you or your family
- Has physically assaulted you ever
- Isolates you from family and / or friends
- Has forced you to have sex against your will
- You control the money and make decisions for you
- It does not allow you to work
- Threatens to take away your children if they leave
"A healthy relationship is one based on the principles of trust and mutual respect," they recall from the Ministry. Therefore, they insist that if when a relationship starts, what is most important is control and jealousy, "you must be alert and act," especially if some of the following attitudes are met.
- He controls your way of dressing
- You do not express your opinions freely for fear of his reaction
- He checks your mobile phone and social networks
- Continually you feel inferior or less than him
- Your partner shows jealousy frequently
- You have stopped dating your circle of friends because he "does not like you"
What do I do if I think I suffer gender violence?
Faced with this difficult situation, the Ministry advises that the first step is to talk with someone: explain your situation to other people and ask for help, especially trusted family and friends, who will support and accompany you. If you have lost contact with them in recent times, try to resume it.
"It is normal for you to be afraid to make mistakes, to feel that you still love them," they explain, adding that although it is common for you to look for reasons to justify them ("he is so jealous because he loves me", "he lost his nerves because he has a lot of responsibility "," if I am a good wife / partner he will change ") or to minimize violence (" it was not so much "," this happens to everyone "), these beliefs are false and can confuse you," you should know that you do not provoke or are guilty of violence and that there is no reason to justify it. " I have very present.
There is a maxim to be taken into account: if your partner treats you badly and uses violence, you can not be happy. "Although it is difficult to take the step and you are afraid to leave, with the support of your loved ones and specialized professionals you will be able to return to love yourself and to break the cycle of abuse". For this there is a series of public resources that aim to protect you and give you security and assistance so that you do not doubt that you are not alone: the whole society supports you.
For this reason, you must contact the toll-free information and legal advice number 016, a public service set up by the Government Delegation for Gender Violence. in operation 24 hours a day, and in the you will be attended by professionals specialized in this matter. This service guarantees the confidentiality of the data of the users and serves in 51 languages.
What do I do if I believe that a woman around me suffers gender violence?
This situation is also complex because, as they explain from the Ministry of Health, in many cases it is the victims themselves who are opposed to denouncing their aggressor. "This resistance can cause incomprehension in the environment, so the help that close people (family, friends, co-workers) can provide is essential," they explain.
Because of this, experts recommend patience: do not pressure them and choose to let them know that you are there to support them. Try to understand it and do not judge it, even if you do not understand that you do not want to denounce. Better, "try to talk to her about her feelings, the bad treatment, the control exercised by her partner and the opportunity they have and, if appropriate, their children to start living without fear and in an environment free of violence" , they advise.
What do I do if I witness an act of gender violence?
If you witness an act of domestic violence or gender violence, act, because you are facing a crime. "The citizens have the obligation to denounce the authorities, so that the different mechanisms of protection for women can be activated and the facts do not go unpunished," explains the Ministry.
In case of hearing or witnessing an act of gender violence, what you have to do is call the emergency phone 112 and indicate what is happening, as well as where you are. Giving information as accurately as possible will make it easier for relevant teams to arrive quickly.
Angela R. Bonachera
