How to be a grandparent ten

THINKSTOCK

The grandparents they spend more and more hours with the grandchildren, as educators: they feed them or pick them up from school. They educate but without pretending it, with their presence, their affection, their relationship with the family. It is a very different task to be parents, but key in the lives of our children.

The grandparents must enjoy the grandchildren, forgetting their educational pretension and sharing their experiences with them. It is the most endearing and disinterested look of tenderness a person can receive and, this is a wonderful gift. The task of educating rests directly with the parents.


Benefits of a good relationship with grandparents

Good grandparents provide a relationship to grandchildren between different generations, in which there is complicity and where the educational aspect is in the background. This is very positive, since they do not receive their comments as obligations and duties. Grandparents benefit from their relationship with their grandchildren: it brings a new meaning to their life, makes them happy, rejuvenates, etc.

To the grandchildren, the conversations with the grandparents give them a perspective of the different life, they recognize in them the values ​​that do not happen and how they are made concrete. Parents can be provided with the knowledge of the years and the relaxation of leaving their own children in good hands, when they need it.


The ABC of the good grandfather

- Be clear to what extent they can help. Do not compromise by making excesses.

- Posing creative situations, They can provide spaces for grandparents.

- That children respect their health and his forces.

- Be clear that education corresponds to parents and that they do subsidiary work. Respect that the last decision always has the parents.

- Raise your criteria and dialogue with parents about: the meals, the sleep rhythms of the grandchildren, etc.

- If they have to take care of the grandchildren and there are difficulties, speak it when the children are not in front, looking for solutions, but never questioning the criteria of the parents: the child does not want to eat a certain food, when to go to the doctor ...


- If they think differently about education, try to understand the parents, because for them it is also a difficult conflict to solve.

- Know that your position is helpful, that do a great job, that implies an important sacrifice, and that above supposes to remain in second plane in the decisions.

- Discover the satisfaction of being able to help your children in the task of educating grandchildren.

- Know that in the background does not matter so much the recognition, As the residue of love and trust they leave in their grandchildren, that is priceless and irreplaceable.

- If there are several children that require the care of the grandchildren, look for the most appropriate and balanced situation.

Tips for grandparents and the rest of the family

- If there is any problem communicating it to the son, not the daughter-in-law or the son-in-law, and let them talk to each other without interfering, or malting.

- If the grandparents are more permissive when your children are at home, you should not scold them, because they may not have the strength to fight with the children anymore. Speak privately with the children, encouraging them to behave outside the home as you teach them. In any case, the grandchildren know how to differentiate and see the norms of the grandparents' house as exceptional moments that, on the other hand, are good that exist.

- Find the best way to combine criteria. Speak privately first about any conflict that may arise. After each spouse speaks with their parents, it will always be easier to understand. And, first of all, a lot of common sense. Grandparents should greatly enjoy their grandchildren and parents be flexible and favor this relationship.

Ana Aznar
Advisor: Charo González Martín. Dr. in Pedagogy. Expert in Family Therapy.

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