The consequences of overprotecting children
Sometimes, the desire that the children go everything great, lead parents to anticipate in meeting the needs of their children and avoid any setbacks. It is what is known as hyperpaternity. The consequences of overprotecting children they can harm them more than benefit them, above all, in the long term.
Our children need to feel loved, protected and cared for by their parents and family in order to develop good emotional growth. But we must not commit mistake of overprotecting children nor save them in every situation that takes them out of their comfort zone.
The consequences of overprotecting children
Why do we tend to overprotect our children? For lack of time and fear of failure. Although parents want our children to know how to get ahead, look for life and face failure, sometimes we do not prepare them for it, and what happens is that:
- They end up not taking on any kind of responsibility for their age.
- They are just afraid to do things because we are going to do it better.
- They are not able to act without prior order.
- They do not know how to reason or tolerate frustration.
- They will have a poor development of their skills (dress, eat ...) and adopt a position of passivity and comfort.
- Your self-esteem will be low and they will have little confidence in themselves.
- They will avoid problems instead of trying to face them and he will not know how to bear the consequences of his own actions.
Let children evolve is the key to avoid child overprotection
We can not keep our children in continuous overprotection or hide them from all the dangers. Sooner or later they will face reality on their own, and if they did not prepare in time for it, they may not know how to get out of the problem. Parents must let them evolve so as not to hinder their development. Instead of promoting all those qualities and values that could make them extraordinary beings
It is good that parents and educators want to work on the development of certain fundamental skills for life, such as autonomy, proactivity, communication and technology management, among others, to help our children and advise them in each of these areas. But forming ourselves to help them does not mean that we are formed by them.
It is normal for us as parents to be more prepared to face certain situations in less time and with greater success than they. For that reason, sometimes we are forced to finish what they started so that it will turn out better and finish it sooner, but we can not let ourselves go. We have to be careful and know how to balance the balance so that it does not lean towards the total autonomy of the child or towards absolute disability.
There are parents who do not know what can be required of the child and encourage more childish behavior than their age, and others think it is better to make life easier by trying to anticipate any need of their child before he ask for it.
Tips to avoid child overprotection
It is in our power to avoid these behaviors, so what can we do to offer the care you need to feel safe and loved, without falling into excessive protection?
- Let him face the difficulties, that adapts to the environment and that develops its abilities on its own.
- Let him breathe, Do not worry too much about your well-being and health.
- Try to learn to think for yourself, to take on new challenges and to adopt their first decisions.
- Encourage play with other children, without the constant presence of adults.
- Do not give everything you ask or what you think you need. Show him the value of the effort.
- Stand on your side when you need it, but to support you, not to solve your problems and perform your tasks.
- Allows you to spend some time with other people to "become independent" a little from his parents.
- Treat him according to his age.
Sara Pérez
Advice: Noelia López-Cheda, coach and author of the book Do not be the agenda of your children
