Sandwich children: advantages and disadvantages of mediums
A child is a sandwich if he can not make his own space as an individual different from his brothers. The middle child may feel disconcerted, since he will not enjoy the prominence and importance that is given to the firstborn, or the apparent mimes he thinks the little one receives. Sometimes, mediums are usually the most forgotten of the family but paradoxically, this forgetfulness can stimulate them to "get the chestnuts out of the fire".
8 advantages of being the middle brother
1. Parents are more trained. They have fewer fears. This characteristic helps them to treat the second in a more relaxed way. For this reason, mediums have the advantage of growing up more freely, as long as the child does not feel abandoned.
2. They are usually observers: They have their older brother as a model, they look at him and also what he does.
3. They have more role models, by having brothers above and below and, therefore, develop common sense and logical reasoning more intensively.
4. They are more sociable if they feel supported by their parents because they receive learning through their siblings. They learn to work more quickly as a team.
5. In general, they come out smarter, they generate resources to better manage their problems because they detect that their parents do not have all the time for them. This characteristic makes them more independent.
6. They have an older brother to open the way with the parents, and on the other, they have a little brother with whom to prolong their games.
7. The middle child has the opportunity to get along with all his brothers, not having much difference in age with any.
8. They can be more precocious in some aspects to receive more influences from his older brother.
5 disadvantages of being the middle brother
1. Sometimes, they pay less attention or they feel that they are loved less. The oldest is the most desired, and the youngest is allowed more things.
2. They may also suffer being "dethroned" with the arrival of another child, with the consequent jealousy. They can be withdrawn in school and become reserved and melancholic children.
3. They want to call attention and they do it in the form of tricks. It will be necessary to detect why they make these pranks.
4. They may feel more insecure and that security is sought outside the home.
5. They can become complacent. They think that the achievements of their first brother are easy and that he has to come to them without a fight. This causes demotivation.
Tips to avoid making a child sandwich with the medium
- Dedicate a reserved and unique time to your middle child, the same one you dedicate to the eldest and the little one. Let him perceive that you also love him unconditionally.
- Never compare him neither with the eldest nor with the little one. Phrases like "you have to be as responsible as your older brother" or "son seems a lie, your little brother is better than you", they do not help him but quite the opposite, they undermine his self-esteem.
- See if you always blame the biggest of the antics and he shielded himself in this fact. If so, your middle child is getting used to being a "hard face", without assuming his mistakes. It is important that you be responsible for your own actions, not relying on others.
- He also does not have to do what the elder does, nor what the little one does. Each age has its moment. If the older we have let him go to bed a little later because he is older, the middle one, if he has not turned those years, does not have to go to bed later.
- That he does not feel that he receives the crumbs of your affection,because you vibrate with the achievements of the firstborn and the thanks of the little one. Many times, they are the ones that need more affection.
- Remember from time to time, to ask your opinion first, before the major.
- If it is a child who never gives problems, docile and calm, eye! You may have all your concerns inside. Talk to him before he feels he "is not good for anything."
- Search with your child a virtue and a capacity that makes him unique and different in front of his brothers, above all, with respect to the eldest. Enhance that quality. Maybe he does not have to go to tennis like the elder, because what he does well is football, although it costs us another trip.
Patricia Palacios
Advisor: Mª Jesús Álava. Clinical Psychologist at the Álava-Reyes Psychology Center.
