Authoritative parents or parents with authority
To have authority without being authoritarian It is the challenge of all parents in modern society. Far is the figure of the authoritative father, so frequent in the age of the grandparents, and now we want to approach the ideal of being parents with authority, which psychologists, teachers and pedagogues recommend, avoiding the danger of making friends with our children.
And the fact is that, on many occasions, the tantrums of our children overwhelm us and we no longer know if those we send at home are us or them. There are many more rights than obligations for children today, and it is in our hands to master these situations or let them dominate us.
Difference between being authoritarian parents or parents with authority
We all know that it is not children who rule at home and that authority is a right that only parents have. But, even if we have the right to exercise it, it will not help if we do not exercise it well.
Cristina Gil Gil, author of the book The teacher responds and teacher for 20 years, recommends that "parents can not be friends-colleagues of our children." That "good roll" that presume some parents, when the truth, it costs them both, because parents have to exercise parents with authority and respect, very careful not to fall into authoritarianism. "
We must have two things clear: that the authority It is born of immense respect for our children, and that parents form a team that must share authority. Therefore, there can be no differences between the father and the mother, there can not be a "good cop and a bad cop", because the child will know which one to obey and which one he can ignore.
In short, we must know what we want to ask our son, and we must know how to give reasons for that authority, give reasons for what we ask. Cristina Gil Gil states that "it is not about winning, but convincing, it is the strength of reason that has to win, for be parents with authority and not authoritarian.
What to do to exercise good authority at home
- Be concise with the orders we give
- Agree on the rules and prizes
- Give orders without shouting, trying to understand us.
- Do not repeat orders
- Do not discredit our spouse
- Have a reason to give
- Give example
- Warn of the consequences
- Stand firm
Errors that parents commit when exercising authority
- We usually turn a blind eye
- We soften
- We demand little
- We take away responsibilities
- We are worth with little in the studies
- We give too many orders without knowing if they have found out
- Our fatigue makes us lower our guard
- We are not aware of your strengths and weaknesses
Sara Pérez
Advice: Cristina Gil Gil, teacher and author of the book La profe responds. Advice for educational concerns of parents.
