Relationships at a distance
The remote couple relationships they are becoming more frequent. In the era of communication and transport, it is much easier to establish relationships with people who live far away from us, sometimes at great distances. Current technology also helps us to survive a long-term relationship as it is easier to maintain contact.
Technological advances make it possible to shorten distances and make communication possible, almost direct between people, which has helped distance relationships proliferate. Relationships at a distance, although based on the same pillars as any conventional relationship, suppose a special type of relationship, with characteristics that can be a difficulty, and at the same time an advantage.
The couple relationship is one of the strongest and special relationships established between people. Establishing a couple bond supposes a mixture of very intense sensations and emotions; where passion, commitment, intimacy, trust are intermingled, and where a common project is generated, dreams are nurtured and expectations are created.
Characteristic traits of long-term relationships
Relationships at a distance have always existed, however, nowadays, with the great mobility they have multiplied. Each relationship is different and will have its specific patterns, each and every one of the couple's relations at a distance will have their specific characteristics, but we can point out some defining features of a general type:
1. Relationships between couples at a distance represent a absence of the beloved.
2. This type of relationship supposes of necessity, greater independence of each of the couple members.
3. Each member of the couple has their place of residence, their friendships, their work and their day by day organized.
4. You perceive time together differently, as something perishable, something finite and therefore it tends to be used more and better that time.
5. The trust is fundamental in any relationship and, especially for long-distance relationships, where it is necessary that each of the two members of the couple maintain their lives.
6. At times, it is normal that doubts arise and that the situation is too hard.
7. The distance between the members of the couple can become one of the great obstacles to the success of the relationship.
The influence of the absence of the other person in the affective bond
The relationships between people require a closeness necessary for the creation and maintenance of the affective and emotional bond. However, this closeness more than physical is an emotional closeness. In such a way that we can develop a strong bond even in the distance, if we maintain an emotional closeness.
There are many occasions in which the physical closeness, covers and hides the emotional lacks in a relationship. In these cases, by separating physically, the bond will fade little by little, since it is not supported by a true emotional closeness.
The absence of the other person has a great influence on the affective bond, but only when it is absent is emotional. Therefore, it is not so much physical distance, distance in space as the distance that separates hearts.
The couple's relationship at a distance: Disadvantage or advantage
The couple's relationship from a distance can become a real challenge for some couples. The distance, in these cases, becomes an obstacle, not always safe for all couples. However, distance can also be a great advantage for many other couples. A recent study by Crystal Jiang (University of Hong Kong) and Jeffrey Hancocj (Cornell University) has shown that long-term relationships can be even more successful than another type of more conventional relationship.
The couple's relationship at a distance when it is sustained and nourished by emotional closeness, helps the bond grows healthy and strong. Not always having the possibility to see the couple contributes to a time of higher quality in common. The presence of the other becomes a reason for joy and remains, in this way the illusion of the first day. In an attempt to maintain fluid communication and overcome the barriers of distance.
Tips to survive a long-term relationship.
1. Try to establish an emotional rather than physical closeness. Sometimes we can have someone by our side and yet be very far away. It is about doing the opposite of being close, being far away. For this it is convenient to take care of privacy and commitment to cultivate and maintain love.
2. Keeping communication fluid and effective is essential. It is not just about talking, but about telling and listening. Share with the other our emotions, if we are sad, if we are happy, worried or nervous, etc.
3. Learn to enjoy your time. Having time for oneself and maintaining independence in the couple is not a negative thing. Contributes to personal development
4. Make the other person feel special and thus cares for their perceptions and interpretations.
5. Take care of trust. Lack of trust is one of the biggest obstacles in long distance relationships. Trust is a common project and one of the bases on which the relationship is based. Trust is achieved with sincerity.
6. Maintain a daily contact, for this you can use the new technologies, internet, mobile telephony, etc.
7. Try, as much as possible, to maintain frequent contact (all weekends, every 15 days, once a month, etc ...), the looks, caresses, hugs, kisses, sexuality ... are fundamental. The distance and the fact of being able to establish physical contact with the couple when one wants, can help to increase the passion.
Celia Rodríguez Ruiz. Clinical health psychologist. Specialist in pedagogy and child and youth psychology. Director of Educa and Learn. Author of the collection Stimulate Reading and Writing Processes.
