How to deal with the loss of a baby
Losing a baby during pregnancy is a hard blow for any couple who go through this situation. Before the arrival of the baby, all the couples prepare themselves with hope, wait for the baby with desire to see the little face and hold him in their arms, prepare to detail his arrival, having everything necessary for his care and attention.
With these acts, an affective bond is already generated, a vital project is created, which we begin to shape and, above all, touch the dream with our hands. The loss of the baby during pregnancy it involves the loss of the illusion, the loss of that common project, of those links that were already waiting to come out and the dream becomes a nightmare.
Keys to coping with the loss of a baby
1. The loss of the baby after a spontaneous abortion can be a blow for many couples that is difficult to get out of. Losing the baby is going to involve a deep duel full of implications from which it is necessary to leave, the grieving process will be hard but irremediable to face the situation.
2. Finding points in common, mutual support and consolation, and giving back to new illusions are some of the key points to face the loss of the baby.
The loss of the baby
The loss of the baby is a serious blow to the parents. The days, weeks and months that follow the loss are usually very difficult and painful. After a first moment of shock, It is time to realize the loss and a mixture of emotions that overwhelm the conscience and generate discomfort and unpleasant sensations, affecting our day to day.
Any loss always involves a significant emotional imbalance, the affections that we had placed in that person, our projects and thoughts are misplaced and require a readjustment that is part of the grieving process. In the case of the loss of a baby, the blow is usually more intense, due to the unexpected, illusions and great emotional burden.
The emotions experienced after the loss of the baby
The loss of the baby triggers a controversial, complex and painful emotional loop characterized by a fluctuation of diffuse and painful emotions that characterize grief. Some of the emotions that usually occur after the loss of the baby are: sadness, pain, guilt, anger, anger, despair, frustration, etc ... These emotions are natural and necessary to face the loss, the death of the loved one. The grieving process is inherent to the loss and must be spent to face it.
It is normal that these emotions are manifested in the daily behavior and in the usual tasks, some of the most common manifestations are the following:
- Look absent.
- Show irritable.
- Lack of appetite and sleep problems.
- Inability to concentrate.
- Physical and mental exhaustion, not wanting to do anything.
The grieving process
The grieving process is natural and necessary for the psychological readjustment that allows accepting, understanding and facing the situation to take place. The emotions experienced with the loss are very painful, but they are necessary to be able to face it.
The phases of the grieving process are the following:
1. Rejection (denial): In this phase it is difficult to accept and understand what happened, our conscience tries to deny what happened in a desperate defense mechanism.
2. Angered. When we become aware of reality, anger appears.
3. Emotional pain. It is the most complicated phase, and is characterized by a diffuse mixture of thoughts and emotions.
4. Acceptance Finally, acceptance is reached, without guilt, without anger, emotions are allowed to flow and little by little they fulfill their function.
The duel, leads to the overcoming of the loss, according to the studies, this overcoming supposes a process of redimensión of the pain and reaffirmation of the own I. This process is a matter of time, so little by little, as time passes, although the hard blow is not forgotten and leaves an imprint that always accompanied the parents, life will begin to return to normal.
Tips for coping with the loss of a baby
1. Accept your emotions and feelings, whatever they are. Let them fulfill their role and take your time, keep in mind that it is a hard blow and that you need time to face the situation.
2. Give yourself time. Each person is different, but it is normal that the process has its ups and downs, some days it will seem that everything returns to normality and others the sadness invades you again.
3. Take time for yourself. The grieving process involves an intimate and personal process that requires time for oneself.
4. Search for hobbies or hobbies Keep your mind occupied with something. Time for oneself is important, but it is also important to disconnect the pain from time to time.
5. Understands that the grieving process is unique and personal and that each person lives it in a different way.It is essential that you understand that your partner can have a grieving process different from yours.
6. Prepare for tensions within the couple. Among the emotions associated with loss are anger, frustration, etc. It is normal for tensions to flourish in these situations.
7. Seek the support of your close ones, of your partner and other relatives.
8. Talk about your emotions, let them come out in some way, you can also try to write or draw.
Celia Rodríguez Ruiz. Clinical health psychologist. Specialist in pedagogy and child and youth psychology. Director of Educa and Learn. Author of the collection Stimulate Reading and Writing Processes.
