How to motivate children in the effort
He does only what he wants, he complains when something costs him, he can not sit more than 10 minutes at his desk doing his homework * how little he tries! Let's not despair. You have to set goals, make him understand the pleasure that comes from completing the task well done and above all, preach by example.
To the extent that our son observes that we also strive at work and in other occupations and acts of daily life, they will also strive. At least, they will be on the right track.
The parents are the mirror where the children look
90% of children between the ages of 6 and 12 see their parents as an example to follow when making an effort, as concluded by a study on "the Value of Effort" made by the international organization Aldeas Infantiles SOS. Parents, in addition to being a point of reference at the time of the effort, are the ones that most congratulate their children for their achievements, and they are also the ones who encourage them not to be lazy. The teachers also fulfill this role.
The best time to educate children
Between 7 and 12 years is the ideal stage to educate in work and effort. At this age, the Sensitive Period of these values passes, and it is time for the children to strive to acquire the habits with greater roots and naturalness, according to José Antonio Alcázar and Fernando Corominas in their book "Virtues Humanas".
But for work and other activities of life to serve as means of education, we have to give priority to the person, to our son, not to the final result. It matters more his work and effort, instead of the objective level reached, although one thing will lead to the other.
Thus, it is necessary to offer them the reasons for their work, awakening in them the satisfaction of the work well done. In addition, you have to work well, which entails the effort and the exercise of strength. Only the well done, educate. If there is no effort, it is not possible to acquire virtues.
Willpower gives happiness
A strong will is an essential element of happiness and many young people lack that willpower because they have been educated in an atmosphere of permissiveness, fruit of a bad sense of freedom. On the other hand, neither an education based on pure obligation and duty, favors a balanced personality. We must make our son discover that when we strive to do something right, to obey, to finish the task, we are well inside and the result is better.
Other times, parents With a misunderstood affection, they try to avoid their children's difficulties in life. They protect and replace them, taking them without realizing to a comfortable life without demands, where for little or no effort they get everything they want. More than protecting children so that they do not suffer, it is about accompanying them so that they can overcome suffering, helping them not to be afraid of risks and failures.
In the daily life of the family coexistence and through small efforts appropriate to their age and personality, we can make them people accustomed to face and overcome difficulties that require effort and effort, in addition to recognizing them and positively evaluating when they have overcome in something that cost them effort.
How to encourage your child to strive
The best inheritance for them is to equip them with the ability to fend for themselves, that they are capable of being useful to society, among their peers, giving their parents joy.
Therefore, you should not always treat them like children. Each age and personality must be accompanied by a responsibility, and in that task you must strive. On the other hand, it is vitally important that at home there is order and demand. "Son, if you have begun to order your drawer, you finish it"; "You can not play the parchis until you have finished your homework"; "You must make every effort to leave your shoes in order and in place"; "Try not to complain the first time, settle down a little".
In addition, we must not allow them to get used to doing what they want at any time and not what they should (many times following our own example). Sometimes, it will be good to give up good things to strengthen our will, and to reach maturity, for example, leave the last bonbon to the friend, finish the plate of vegetables ... Other times, will be interested in creating occasions, such as an excursion where you walk a lot.
You have to work well, which entails the effort and the exercise of strength. Only the well done, educate. If there is no effort, it is not possible to acquire virtues.
Characteristic behaviors of a lazy
Maite Mijancos, author of the book Emotional intelligence and happiness, currently director of the Family School of the Identitas group, family adviser and teacher, It tells us what are the behaviors of a lazy child:
one.Only perform activities that do not require effort.
2. No perfection is required in what he does: notes, assignments, duties ...
3. He does not fight every day against the defects that he has and that he knows perfectly.
4. He lets himself be overcome by discouragement.
5. He does not understand the positive value of sacrifice, when, for example, he has to stay to tend a brother.
6. It does not take care of the small details.
7. Do not think about things before doing them.
8. Sometimes, you have nothing to do.
9. Does not meet a schedule.
10. It does not fulfill the commitments.
12. Reveal the secrets that they entrust to you.
13. Start an activity, although you suspect that it will not end.
14. Does not assume responsibilities.
You lack of efforts if ...
We can say that our son is weak in his will or effort when he does not face the small details of life, when he has lost the will to fight, when he has no ability to sacrifice, when he has no desire to excel and has fallen into a kind of mediocrity, disorder and neglect.
Advice: José Antonio Alcázar Y Fernando Corominas in his book Human Virtues
It may interest you:
- Children's behavior problems
- The value of effort in early childhood education
- The value of effort, how to motivate children