Differences between family mediation and family orientation

When a couple has made the decision to separate, the usual thing is to go to a judicial process. But there is a way to alleviate to a certain extent the economic, emotional and time costs that the rupture entails, and that is to go through a process of family mediation.

What is family mediation?

In the context of a conjugal break, the family mediation it is the help given by a neutral professional so that a couple or family reaches an agreement of rupture the least traumatic possible, helping them to reach agreements that govern in the future their personal, paternal-affiliated and economic relations. Agreements that will later be submitted to a judge to be reflected in a separation or divorce regulatory agreement.

However, having a bad time does not have to lead to a separation. Marriages, families, are not static realities. Relationships evolve and we have to adapt to new situations throughout life: fatherhood, work life, physical and emotional changes, illnesses, loss of loved ones ... In these situations a crisis may occur; but not in the sense that we usually give to this word, almost synonymous with rupture.

They are growth crises, which entail the need to introduce changes so that the relationships function again, in order to grow as a couple / family; but they do not necessarily have to lead to a break. Generally, a couple or a family they have the capacity to solve for themselves the difficulties caused by the habitual tensions of coexistence.

However, sometimes they do not. Then a higher level of tension is generated, which does not help solve those problems and can also create others. In these cases, when a difficulty is affecting our relationship and we have not been able to solve it alone, it is
It is convenient to ask for help, to seek the advice of expert people before the tensions increase and that causes a real break.

How family counseling can help the couple

The family counseling or preventive mediation it is a technical, professional intervention that seeks to stabilize the couple or family that is going through a crisis, providing tools to recover their abilities, overcome difficulties and strengthen the bonds that bind them.

It is a different process to the family mediation understood according to the current legislation: it is an aid so that a couple / family overcome their difficulties and avoid a rupture, returning to be a couple / family in which their members grow, adapting to the different stages vital, through the search for agreements in the points where they have a conflict. One of the great advantages of family guidance thus understood is that comprehensive care is provided to the family: knowing that there are problems of a different nature, we have different specialists to help solve them.

To clarify a little more the difference between family mediation and family orientation, as it is contemplated by civil legislation, we will say that family mediation consists in mediating to reach agreements for a rupture, while family orientation or preventive mediation consists in helping the couple to recover the relationship and not break.

But, it is not necessary to take bad or to be thinking about breaking so that a family counselor can help us. Family counseling is a tool to help improve the relationship, not only to repair it. If there is something in the relationship, or in family relationships that, although it does not seem serious, "is there" and would be better if it were not, you can consult a specialist to live fully our relationships. For example: problems of marital and vital communication, maturity, relationship with children, extended family ... Boyfriends who are not clear about their relationship, or adults who have communication problems with the family, emotional deprivation, etc.

Advice for families on mediation and family orientation

- If we have already decided to separate, it is better to go to a family mediation process than to a contentious judicial process.

- If we have a difficulty that is seriously altering our relationship, with our children or other relatives, it would be advisable to go to family counseling or preventive mediation and acquire skills to solve this difficulty.

- If we want to prevent difficulties, we have at our reach family counselors to help us live better relationships that, without presenting serious problems, are not as satisfactory as they could be: improving a specific aspect of our marital relationship; face a complicated adolescence better; overcome fears, emotional difficulties, emotional deficiencies ...

María Álvarez de las Asturias
Mercedes Honrubia

You may also like:

- Parents with emotional intelligence

- 20 tricks to revive love and avoid divorce

- Crisis and divorce: how to modify the agreement

- How to rebuild a couple relationship

Video: Orientation to Family Court Mediation and Child Custody Recommending Counseling

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