How to educate a bossy child

At first, the small boss can be funny, but looking at him and laughing what we encourage is that he sends more and more people. The attitude of parents is fundamental for educate a bossy child before he becomes a little tyrant.

Therefore, it is important to assess whether we only pay attention to the child when he gives orders and acts as a bossy child and we do not do so when he plays quietly.

How to educate bossy children

1. Ignore their behavior A basic rule to control a bossy child is to ignore their behavior, that is, not to laugh or look at it even if it is funny. If we laugh, it is better to leave the room where the child is and vent the laughter without him being able to see or hear us. We must warn the rest of the family to do the same.


2. Teach him to ask for things "please". If the bossy child asks for things incorrectly, we should not grant them until he says it right. If you insist, we will say something like: "I will not listen to you until you ask me for what you want, because Dad has already taught you how to do it. Then we will continue with what we were doing without paying attention to him, until he properly asks for what he wants.

3. Help him to identify his behavior as bossy. When the bossy child gives orders to his friends, we will not embarrass him in front of them. Before leaving home we have to talk to the child and remind him that every time we see him sending another child, we will give him a warning -for example, we will say his name- to make him see that he is behaving like a boss and that he should leave to do it If he continues, we will force him to pause the game; we can say "One moment", keeping your face expressionless and we will sit you in a chair for 5 minutes until you decide to ask for things well and not always send in the game. We will repeat it as many times as necessary.


4. Reinforce your correct behavior. We must value the moments when he does not behave like a childbossy and he asks us for things correctly. We will take the opportunity to praise his attitude with praise: "Bravo, I'm super happy when you ask for things right!" You deserve a mega kiss! "With this strategy you will learn how to behave.

5. Preach by example. If we demand things, instead of requesting them with education, our son will do the same by imitation; and on the contrary, if you observe that we always say please or ask with respect, the little one will act the same.

From the small bossy to the intolerant child

The bossy child is the one who seeks at all times to impose his will, to send others, to interrupt the conversations of adults and children, who believe that theirs is the best and that their opinion is the only one that counts. In addition, as he grows older, he is the one who blackmails his peers and criticizes and humiliates other children his age, including adults. They have little capacity to handle frustration and with the passage of time it will be more difficult for them to retreat, becoming a problem that is perhaps unsolvable.


Teach him to negotiate with others

Although the bossy attitude is normal in many children, it is important that parents act appropriately so that this behavior does not aggravate and prevent our child from having problems in their social relationships for this reason.

If our son does not stop giving orders to everyone, adopting the posture and tone of voice of an adult, it is likely that at first we find it funny but we should never let it be noticed.
If, on the other hand, our child is under the tyranny of a classmate, we must try as soon as possible to find other friends with whom to play. Otherwise, as this relationship strengthens, it is possible that it will suffer more and more.

To avoid a series of attitudes that could turn this type of command into a characteristic of its future character, we can teach the child to negotiate, starting in the family environment so that, little by little, he can do it with his friends.

It is the ideal stage to teach through stories. There is a great variety of books in which the value of respect towards others and towards other opinions is taught. Educating them not to be authoritarian is helping them to be flexible and tolerant adults.

Maria Lucea

Video: Dealing With Bossy Children - First With Kids - Vermont Children's Hospital


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