5 tips for a positive influence on children

The relationships that are established within a family will determine the personality of the children. Thus, a conflictive family environment and emotional deprivation can result in a child with a negative behavior. On the contrary, a happy family environment will help the child to develop normally and achieve a positive behavior model.

5 ways to positively influence children

Therefore, it is important to know some tips to exercise a positive influence on children.

1. Earn your trust. The first and most effective advice for a positive influence on children is to earn their trust. For this, it is important to show them, offering them security and support at all times, that you love them. The love and trust that your child perceives will constitute the basis of your relationship and will be, at the same time, a determining factor in your way of being. In this sense, we must not forget that the challenge is to make your children happy people.


2. Impose the correct authority. Exercising authority with children does not necessarily mean being an authoritative or controlling parent. However, authority is a tool with which children are necessarily influenced. Thus, to set in motion a correct authority, we must take into account, first, the age of the child and, secondly, be clear about what we want to achieve. When it comes to Small children, reasoning is totally impossible. Even if you try to make your child understand why it is wrong to put his fingers in the plug, he will not understand. In that case, the most effective is to try to be persuasive by changing your focus of attention, always knowing that what you want is that you do not suffer any harm, not that you understand the effects of electricity.


However, when it comes to Older children, which are already able to reason and debate decisions with you, it is possible to use participatory education. This does not mean that the children decide what is right and what is wrong or that they choose to self-impose a punishment or get away with bad behavior. In reality, this participatory education refers to the ability of children to understand the decisions of their parents, to express their opinions and to reason with them, not only about a possible punishment, but about the causes and consequences of their behavior. This will be a way to get your child to learn to reason.

3. It promotes your self-esteem. Resorting to punishment on a constant basis can make children, accustomed to hearing many criticisms and few recognitions, end up learning to observe only the negative aspects of each situation. On the contrary, it is necessary that when there is a father-son conversation, always seek constructive dialogue (even when it is to point out something that has been done wrong), with arguments and kindness (without shouting), in which the child learns something and above all, find in your parents a trustworthy figure. In this sense, it will be effective when it comes to increasing your self-esteem and confidence, stressing your positive values ​​and good deeds.


4. Become your role model. Normally, the words, gestures or behaviors used by a child are not the result of chance. Although it may not seem like it, children are constantly attentive to the words and gestures used by reference persons (parents, older siblings, teachers) and tend to copy their attitudes and behaviors.

Therefore, when we see a child who says bad words or criticizes a classmate, it is probably the result of the bad words he hears at home or of the criticisms that his parents make, for example, of his coworkers. Thus, being constantly aware of what is said and done, not only helps you not to have a negative influence on your child but to take advantage of that attention to focus on the positive and get a good influence on it.

5. Spend time with your child. Influencing children positively is not possible if time is not available. The moments spent with the family are the only way to get to know them. Talking about their tastes, hobbies, dreams and concerns will help strengthen family ties. In addition, spending time with children should not be understood solely in the exclusively material sense of time.

That is to say that, not only matters the seconds, minutes or hours you spend with your child but the quality of the time you share with him. The goal is for your child to know that at that moment the most important thing for you is him and what he wants to share with you will absorb all your attention. Thus, time becomes an indispensable factor to influence them positively. When your time is yours: you increase your confidence, improve your self-esteem, and, more importantly, in the future you will also learn to spend time on the really important things.

Patricia Núñez de Arenas

Video: How to raise successful kids -- without over-parenting | Julie Lythcott-Haims


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