The crisis of crying children

If there is a time and a place in which the crisis of children's crying becomes apparent, that is the entrance to the school. It occurs due to the anguish of a separation that lasts a large part of the day and is repeated daily. For a child of three years and older, this separation is very long. How to react when the child cries repeatedly all the times you have to go to school?

Crying crisis due to the anguish of separation

It often happens that, when leaving the child in the nursery, in the home of a family member or with the nanny, a cries of tears before the separation of their parents. In this case, we parents have to react calmly to show the child that he has the right to cry, but that he is not living a catastrophe. It is not about behaving with indifference, but about having a reassuring attitude. It is advisable that parents leave without waiting for the child to calm down. Frequently the cries cease as soon as the parents turn around.


However, it is important to ask how the child has spent the day when we go to pick it up. Have the crying lasted long? Have you started playing right away? If the child has cried too long or if he has remained indifferent, discouraged, without moving, the parents should pay attention, reconsidering the circumstances or the way of taking care of him.

We must bear in mind that children who suffer from this anxiety due to the separation of their parents stagnate in their adaptation to school, are passive and seem to have no interest in growing up. It is convenient that we tell them our stories of when we went to school and, at the same time, we do not show ourselves excessively demanding, but understanding of their situation and with good humor when it comes to taking them to school.


We parents can not disappear

The earlier you intervene in the child's life, the more likely it is to progress quickly. But to teach the child to overcome his fear of separation is not worth any formula. An error that parents can fall into is to leave our son with someone to take care of him and leave, taking advantage of the fact that he is asleep. For the child it can be a tremendous anguish to wake up and see that we have left without saying goodbye to him, without telling him when we will return. We have disappeared and nobody has warned us of our absence; his anguish will increase, may even get to disrupt the dream. The child develops this reaction because he sees a dangerous sleep: his parents can disappear. Therefore, it is recommended that whenever we are going to be absent, we let the child know.

Understand the separation of parents

It is necessary to announce that we are going to be absent, that we will return, that we understand their sadness, but that life does not stop because of that. The child accepts these words with affection and understands what his parents tell him, even if the separation is painful. If he is an older child it is convenient to resort to his eagerness to grow, which will allow him to accept a temporary separation.


It can also be helpful to leave the child with a "whim", which can be your favorite stuffed animal, a toy or a piece of clothing impregnated with the smell of your mother. This transactional object, by linking him to his mother or his house, will become a safety factor.

However, separation in the first months of the baby's life is not advisable, instead later and always announcing it, it is advisable to provoke it. Children who have never been separated from their parents feel infinitely more affected than average when the first separation occurs. They are not prepared to face it, unlike those who have benefited from a well-oriented learning.

Tips to overcome separation anxiety

- Invite your child's friends to come home to play. Once a relationship of trust is established, it will cost the child much less to be the one who attends this type of appointment.

- Never miss your word. If we promised the child to pick him up at a certain time, we will be there on time. Otherwise we would be encouraged their insecurity and dependence.

- There is nothing better to learn to separate than practice. If all weekends, for example, we leave our little one an hour with his grandparents there will come a time when not only do not suffer any anxiety but, on the contrary, will be looking forward to Saturday.

- Do not behave in an unsafe manner in front of the child. Constantly transmitting our fears would end up transforming him into a boy inevitably enmadrado and dependent.

- Avoid constantly controlling your child. Even at home we must give it a certain independence and freedom. In this way, you will learn to be alone and not need our constant company.

- Spend a weekend at a relative's houseIt may be the best way for our little one to start to take off.

Conchita Requero
Advisor: Bernardette Lemoine. Psychologist

Video: VOICED: Afghan children's hospital in crisis amid fears of attack.


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