How to establish trust between parents and children

Young people hold friendship in great esteem, there is more to see the great amount of time they spend with their friends and how much they like to meet new people. For this reason, at these ages are wishing relate to their parents, not only as children, but as friends, even if they do not tell us.

Now, that is not at odds with the fact that the children look for in their parents someone with authority and experience, to be able to orient themselves in those circumstances that appear in their life and that in many occasions they will pose doubts to them.

Establish trust: parents must take the first step

The first step to establish friendship and relationship of trust should be given by the parents. Progressively, give a turn in your relationship to the child, going from giving orders to ask for their collaboration, and resorting to a criticism argued to any of their wrong actions before a row.


In short, treat him as an older and responsible person, whose opinions are taken into account in family matters. The adolescent is sensitive to these issues now, and we can not leave him aside as if he were still a child, nor laugh at him or ironic when he contributes his opinion on different topics. This will only contribute to closing in band or not resorting to us when you want to tell your problems or illusions.

On the other hand, both parents and children should know that in order to build this relationship of friendship and trust, correspondence is needed. That is, both parties have to be equally involved in the relationship, both have to give and receive and be loyal to each other.


7 keys to a trust based on loyalty

To increase trust, parents must learn to:

1. Listen carefully to children, from peer to peer. Listening to him, we will be able to know him, and therefore, understand him.

2. Never betray trust. Confidences between friends are sacred and must be kept secret if one of the parties so wishes.

3. Demonstrate that we consider them worthy of our trust, both by making them share our own concerns, projects, joys, etc., as well as by listening and valuing their opinions and points of view.

4. Delegate responsibilities according to their age.

5. Respond to the moment. The reciprocal availability is another of the bases of trust. We must be willing to void a plan when it is necessary to resolve an important family issue.


6. Respect the confidant. Confidences have their moment, which the interested party chooses with complete independence. Both parents and children need a space of privacy that the other has to respect. It does not have to count "everything and now". The important thing is that you know that we are there, by hand, when you need us. And precisely, what should honor us to tell us are not the facts themselves, but the ideas that hover in his head.

7. Accept criticisms and corrections. Parents must learn to argue and discuss with them in a climate of open dialogue. And above all, learn to listen to their possible criticisms and have enough humility to recognize when they are right. All this, of course, demanding the respect we deserve as parents. It is a difficult issue, since many parents think that they lose authority. However, young people know how to value and respect that their parents have the courage to recognize their error and appreciate their advice. And they do not lose authority, but consolidate their position as parents and as sensible people who know how to help their children.

Teresa Pereda

More information in the book: Father's heart, of Osvaldo Poli.
If you want to read the first chapter, press here.

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- Father's day as a family, what do we do?

- Parents involved: the new role of dad

- 10 mistakes that parents make with our children

Video: Parents and Children part 1:Building Trust


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