Praise children to educate in values

Praise increases motivation and helps children to perform a difficult task, incorporate a new habit or increase the frequency of appropriate behavior.
Praising children to educate in values ​​is a highly effective behavior management technique that has great benefits and should be part of our usual language.

Many parents do not attach importance to the use of praise, or are not accustomed to praise, many others think that children should do things well without the need to be praised and that praise should be reserved for behaviors that are exceptionally good; Other parents may sense the importance of praise, but when they get home they are so tired that they are unable to assess their child's appropriate behaviors and praise them, or are only able to perceive negative behaviors. For all those parents this message:

Praise your son whenever you can!

For those who think it is not necessary to praise, tell them that children who receive more praise develop better self-esteem, are children who learn and are able to praise other children more and are often very dear children. In addition, praise increases motivation and helps children to perform a difficult task, incorporate a new habit or increase the frequency of proper behavior.

How should children be praised?

For those who are convinced that praise is beneficial, but do not know how to do it:

1. It is important to specifically praise so that the child knows exactly what behavior we want to see more frequently, it is not the same to say: "How well you have behaved", to say, "Mom is happy because you have not run through the corridors and you have talked quietly" . In the first case, the child is left with the idea that his behavior has been good but he does not know what specific behaviors we are referring to; while in the second case, we are praising and indicating to the child what behaviors we want to see.

2. It is beneficial that the praise be immediate and that we praise consistently. What is the use of praising once a month or telling your child: "Is Mom happy because last week at your grandmother's house you spoke shortly?" The child has already forgotten what he did or did not do, but how effective those words would have been as soon as he left his grandmother's house!

3. Praise must be appropriate, we should praise with enthusiasm and accompany the praise with a hug, a slap ... In this way we increase the magnitude of the praise, a praise said without enthusiasm, or carelessly loses its effectiveness.

4. Praise without sarcasmos. Sometimes when giving a compliment we include a sarcastic comment, such as: "How well you have made the bed today, but you could do it like that every day!". With this "tagline", which often escapes us, we have lost all the benefits of praise.

What behaviors do you praise of children?

For those who realize the importance of praise and who have learned how to do it, but do not know what behavior should be praised:

1. Praise all those day-to-day behaviors that the child does well and that many times we take them for granted too easily.

2. Praise behaviors to reinforce how to give a turn, not get up from the table, ask for things please, etc. We already know that they are things that must be done, but in this way we will keep them going.

3. All children have to be praised, but often children with worse behavior receive the least praise, parents pay close attention to negative behaviors and often forget to reinforce positive behaviors. Those children with more inappropriate behavior who receive little praise, and are the ones who need them the most !!

Pilar Gamazo. Psychiatrist at the University Clinic of Navarra.

Video: How to raise successful kids -- without over-parenting | Julie Lythcott-Haims

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