Keys to correct a disobedient child
Preventing a child from being disobedient is only in the hands of his parents. Disobedience is normal in the early years of the child's childhood and, therefore, parents should accompany, demand and explain to the child that he should be aware of his actions: differentiating the right from the wrong, what can be done and what can not be done in each situation and in each case.
The responsibility of parents in child disobedience
Disobedience in children is often linked to poor performance on the part of adults, parents and teachers. We do not know how to send or we do wrong. Not agreeing, lack of authority or being too permissive are some of the causes that trigger the lack of obedience.
1. Lack of parental authority
Discipline and authority are paramount for the psychological development of the child. They give him security and stability, he provides an order to his life and he offers them an image of adults as role models. However, the lack of authority is a frequent defect that we observe every day:
- We forgive the punishments we give you.
- We allow you not to comply with what we ask of you.
- We do not take responsibility for household chores.
- We do not demand them in the study.
- We avoid any discussion.
- We let them end up getting away with it.
2. How should parents exercise authority
The most stable and happy children have been, as a rule, educated by coherent parents who knew how to combine the demand with affection. In this way, the children could easily know the consequences of complying or not with the rules of the home. To avoid falling into the lack of authority we must remember that:
- Repeating the same order several times is a sign of lack of authority.
- The effectiveness of an order depends, above all, on the authority of the one who gives it.
- Raising the voice encourages the loss of authority.
Keys to teach the child to obey
- Establish standards. Keep in mind that sending too many unnecessary things leads to the loss of authority. The ideal is to establish few standards and be demanding in them to teach to obey children.
-Motivate and reinforce positively compliance with the rules. It is better to demand positive.
- Mark the consequences that result from its non-compliance. It is important that the consequences deriving from compliance or non-compliance with the norms are consistent.
- Exercise authority well. The punishments must be met. We must take special care to impose punishments that we are ultimately unwilling to comply with. The behavior must be punished, not the child. The child must understand that, by breaking a rule, he is the only cause of being punished.
How to encourage child obedience
- In the order. Necessary to make more pleasant the coexistence in the home: order in the bedtime and wake up times, order in the care of your things or order in your affections.
- In fidelity to the truth. Instill them with sincerity and rejection of lies.
- In love. The one they should show their parents and siblings, other family members, their teachers and their friends.
- In the service to others. The one that they will have to show not only with words, but also with gestures, details and generosity.
- At work. Awaken in them study habits, help them in their school tasks and give example of industriousness.
- In the use of free time. Limiting the schedules of television, videogames, offering alternatives.
Noelia de Santiago Monteserín
Advice: Teresa Artola, doctor in Psychology and Master in Family Education. Author of the book Educational keys from 6 to 12 years, from Editorial Palabra.
Click here if you want to read a sample chapter of the book.
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