Low infantile self-esteem and positive reinforcement
A child with good self-esteem can experience its positive effects: confidence, encouragement, interest and the pleasure of learning and making dreams come true. It needs to be built and built since the child is just a baby. The child who does not feel that he is valued by his parents can develop the fear of being abandoned. To avoid low infantile self-esteem, the antidote is positive reinforcement.
The same should be done, for example, when in school they label our son as the bad guy, the trasto, the impertinent, the clumsy, the lazy and the only thing that his classmates do is to leave him aside, discriminating him, making him feel marginalized and rejected by all. This position will not help at all, creating a low self-esteem in the child that, in a short time, may lead to school failure.
The negative effects of low infantile self-esteem
1. Negative feelings. Low self-esteem can develop in children feelings such as anguish, pain, indecision, discouragement, laziness, shame, and other discomforts. For this reason, maintaining a positive self-esteem is a fundamental task throughout the growth of children. Within each of us, there are hidden emotions and feelings that often we do not perceive.
Bad feelings, such as pain, sadness, resentment, and others, if they are not remedied, end up becoming and winning different forms. These feelings can lead a person not only to suffer continuous depression, but also to have guilt complex, sudden mood swings, anxiety crises, panic, unexplained reactions, indecisions, excessive envy, fear, impotence, hypersensitivity and pessimism, among others.
2. Exhaustion self-assessment. Low self-esteem can also lead a person to feel undervalued and, therefore, to always be compared with others, underlining the virtues and abilities of others. He may see them as superior beings and feel that he will never perform like them. This position can lead you to not have goals, to see no sense in anything, and to be convinced of being unable to achieve anything that is proposed. What happens is that he fails to understand that we are all different and unique, and that no one is perfect. We are all wrong and we start again.
How to strengthen children's self-esteem
Self-esteem is the value that a person gives to himself. We usually value depending, to a large extent, on the concept that the most significant people that surround us have: the parents, family members, friends, teachers, etc. Self-esteem is a basic element in the personal formation of children. Low self-esteem can develop in children feelings of anguish, pain, discouragement, laziness, shame and insecurity, among others.
1. Praise your achievements. When children feel valued, they can propose more realistic goals, accept others as they are, learn more efficiently and apply their creativity in the new situations that arise.
2. Make it feel important and necessary. We can boost the self-esteem of children by making them feel important and necessary in the family, at school ..., so that they are appreciated and taken into account by others.
3. Congratulate him on a job well done. It is important that we stimulate them, informing them of the well done and of what can be done better, as well as encouraging them to build a real and positive image of themselves, reinforcing feelings of efficacy and safety.
4. Recognize your effort. To deal positively with children we must recognize the effort and achievements obtained. So, for example, if they have proposed this summer to read 20 minutes every day, each time they do we will congratulate them, we will be interested in what they read or we will give them a hug, with phrases like: "Great! see you read, how it shows that you get older. "
Advice: Advice:Alfonso Aguiló, author of the bookEducate the feelings, from Editoral Palabra.
Click here and get the first chapter as a sample of the book.
José A. Alcázar Y Mª Ángeles Losantos, authors of Your 8 to 9 year old son, from Editorial Palabra.