Responsible Parenting: 10 keys to educate
A very important part of child development goes through the rules to live that parents should teach their children. The basic norms agree in giving the minors a safe and affectionate environment, in which they develop their self esteem and learn to relate to others in a healthy way.
The Royal College of Psychiatrists of the United Kingdom has published a series of informative documents addressed to parents, teachers and caregivers, under the title 'Mental health and growth' These recommendations emphasize the importance of developing skills forreponsable breeding from the first years of life of the minors.
British specialists point out that the rules are an important part of the day to day that make the coexistence Between people. "If the child does not learn how to behave, it will be difficult for him to interact with other children and adults, children will find it difficult to learn at school, they will behave badly and are likely to be unhappy and frustrated."
10 keys to educate children
The key is in discover strategies that work well, both for parents and children and to facilitate this fundamental task, British psychiatrists provide some ideas:
1. Be clear and constant: if you do not abide by the rules set, your children will learn that if they ignore them, you will probably end up giving up. Personal experience about childhood is very important. Even if you want to do things differently than you did when you were a child, you may find yourself doing the same with your children or even the opposite. It is useful to aim to be the most clear and coherent possible.
2. Use the compliments: let your children know when they do something right and when you feel happy with them. You can, for example, give them a hug, a kiss and tell them how obedient, how good they are and how happy they make you behave like that. It is very important to do it immediately after the action is well done.
3. Plan ahead: this helps if you and your children know the rules for particular situations before they happen. Do not establish these rules on the fly, if for example the time to go to bed is 20:30, make sure everyone knows and go for it.
4. Involve your child: Sit with your children and talk to them about good behaviors. You will be surprised to discover that there are more coincidences than differences in this sense.
5. Keep calm: This can be difficult to carry out when we are in the middle of a conflict, but it helps. Calm yourself and be clear in your guidelines as: "please turn off the television" or "it's time to go to sleep".
6. Be clear with your child: Telling the little one "behave yourself" is not enough, you have to tell him exactly what is expected of him. If the child can not understand us, he will hardly obey us. That's why it's always much better short and simple orders, like: "please, save your toys".
7. Keep it real: You are not if you promise an extraordinary reward or threats with a horrible punishment when you are not going to carry them out. It is much better to offer small prizes instead of punishments. For example, "when you have ordered your room, you can have an ice cream". Do not expect miracles, if your son orders only part of the room, praise him for having started the task.
8. Give importance to your relationship: when there are difficulties it is easy to forget that there are also good shared moments. Everyone can end up feeling angry and disgusted. That is why it is necessary to plan good moments in common. You can play something, read or cook together for at least 10 minutes a day.
9. Show a common frontIf parents disagree about the rules and what they expect from their children, they may be confused because they do not know what is expected of them. In addition, they may discover that if they ask separately for each progenitor, they will get a different answer. Therefore, it is important, as far as possible, that everyone who takes care of the children (uncles, grandparents ...) agrees on the most important aspects and in the behaviors that they want to promote in the minors.
10. Encourage positive behaviors: the breeding It can be a difficult job, both emotionally and physically. It is easy to let things go if you are stressed, depressed, tired, very busy or have no one to help you take care of the children. Without consistent stimuli and expectations, children can develop bad habits in their behavior.
The British specialists point out that, in the presence of problems in parenting, it is good to talk with other parents or friends, the child's teachers and even their pediatrician. "Changing a child's behavior can be slow and difficult but it can be achieved," they add.
Finally, if the behavior problem is serious, the pediatrician can advise the participation of a specialist in the field of mental health in children and adolescents, which can help find out what is causing the problem and suggest practical methods to help overcome the situation.
Marisol Nuevo Espín
