Assertiveness: how to say no

Saying that it can not be a healthy option for relieve stress from day to day at work, family and relationships with friends. The fear of defrauding the expectations generated, want to please to all and feel guilty Due to situations beyond us, they can complicate something as simple as assertiveness: how to say no and be aware that everyone has its limitations.

As a general rule, we must bear in mind that the number of requests that we receive daily and that are worth taking does not tend to decrease, but rather the opposite. You can not add more time to the 24 hours you have the day.


Reasons to consider to say no:

- It is not necessarily selfishness. When you say no to a new commitment you are giving value to existing obligations and you are sure you can dedicate yourself to them using quality time.

- Open new opportunities. Just because you have always helped to prepare a certain work or family celebration does not mean that you will always have to do it. Say that it does not give you time to devote to other interests.

- It is not healthy to say yes to everything. Overload and excessive stress produce decay and open the door to diseases.

- By accepting the others, they ignore. When it is said that the door is not open for others to participate. Maybe they will not do things as we would like, but they will be well done as well.


When to say no

Sometimes it is very difficult to determine what activities deserve our time and attention. The following strategies allow evaluating the obligations and opportunities presented:

- Focus on the most important. It is useful to examine our obligations and priorities before making new commitments. Before accepting, we must examine whether the new commitment is important to us. If it is something that is considered vital, go ahead, but if it is not, you have to let it be.

- Weigh the amount of stress that is assumed when it says yes. We must take into account whether it is a commitment in the short or long term, if it will mean more stress at a specific time or add tension to the day to day for a while. Faced with a commitment of this kind should not be said yes if it means months of added stress. Instead, it is better to find a way to lend a hand in a timely manner.


- Eliminate the guilt of the equation. It is not necessary to say yes to petitions that would be rejected if guilt or obligation were not involved. Doing it this way probably stress will increase and resentment will also play an important role in relationships.

- Consult it with the pillow. Before answering, it is preferable to reserve a day to think about the request and how it fits between existing commitments. If you have to make a quick decision, at least you have to take a few moments to think about it before answering.

How to say no

It's easy to say a word like 'No', but saying NO to someone is not that easy. There will be times when it will not be easy to say. Here we expose some things to keep in mind when deciding to present a negative:

- The power of 'no': you have to use it without fear. You have to be careful not to do it with substitute phrases like 'I'm not sure' or 'I do not think I can'. This can be interpreted as later you could say yes.

- Brevity: it is well to indicate the reason to refuse the request but it is not advisable to develop the topic. This means avoiding justifications or elaborate explanations.

- Honesty: you do not have to make reasons to avoid the obligation. The truth is always the best way to reject a friend, family member or work colleague.

- Respect: many good causes are coming and it can be difficult to reject them. Congratulating the effort of the team while communicating that it is not possible to make a new commitment shows that there is respect for what others are trying to achieve.

- FirmnessSometimes it is necessary to reject a request several times before the other person accepts the answer. When this happens, you have to show firmness and say again, not calmly, with or without the original reasoning, as the case may be.

It will not be easy if the custom is to say yes all the time, but it is an important part for simplify our life Y manage stress. The practice will become increasingly simple this healthy gesture of saying no, when taking on too many tasks or attributions can lead to a path of no return for our mental and physical health.

Isabel Martínez

It may interest you:

- The powerful NON-educational: from 1 to 3 years

- Say NO to teenagers: how to handle their provocations

- How to say NO to a teenager

Video: Assertiveness - Tips for being assertive & saying 'No'


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