The stage of no: why it happens
After about three years, children usually take pleasure in shaking their heads to answer with a resounding "no" to many of the things we ask or propose. Start the stage of 'no'. East negativism, which does not matter, is only the reflection of a stage of confusion.
The 3 years is called the age of no! It is at this stage when our son begins to discover his "I", and the "no" is a self-affirmation signal. The little one starts challenge parents and that is part of their growth. It helps you learn and discover your own way, express your individuality and acquire a certain sense of autonomy. This stage of 'no' is usually extended even, up to 6 years, age at which the child experiences a small adolescence.
How to stop the age of 'no'
The attitude of parents is very important and, in most cases, determining the way in which the child develops and grows as a person, but in this case small rebellion of the child is a need of his own. It is part of its own evolution and it is produced independently of the attitude of the parents. Of course, once it has occurred, the way in which parents respond to such rebellion, will mark a particular development in the behavior and habits of the child.
The disobedience and the stage of 'no'
The stage of "no" and disobedience They have behaviors in common. The child who tries to assert himself and constantly challenges parents, uses as his main weapon the disobedience. He wants to mark his territory and the way to do it is to get what he wants and not what the parents ask of him. But this does not mean they are disobedient, that is, they may disobey at that moment, but they have internalized the way in which they should behave.
On the contrary, not every child who disobeys is in a stage of self-affirmation, but it is possible that he has not internalized the obedience as part of their behavior usual in life.
You can understand or justify those "no", but not to consent. This is one of the most important moments in which parents can not relax, much less justify such behaviors as possible. The child will try to do what he wants and not what is marked, but that does not imply that what you choose is good for him. In this age he discovers that he also has the ability to choose and not only do what is asked of him. It's a new discovery but it does not have the maturity Enough to choose correctly.
Probably, shop to choose what you find more comfortable, that implies less effort, and that provides a satisfaction, apparently, complete and immediate. But he does not know that these immediate satisfactions do not have to be the best for him. Therefore, we can not allow our child to choose or decide everything. We must help them choose well, even if this supposes facing your rebellions and your "No". In short, it's time to mark a good authority.
Conchita Requero
Advisor: María Campo Martínez. Director of Infantile Schools Kimba.
