Myths of the only son
There are a number of myths that sometimes refer to unique children and that do not have to be true as long as the parents have taken an educational style and guidelines to avoid it. If those myths of the only son They exist is, precisely, because it can be easy for them to reach them because of the way in which they are being educated. But it does not have to happen like that.
The myths of the only son
Some of the myths of the personality of the only son are these characteristic features:
- Egocentric: If they are used to everyone being aware of them and everything around them be for them. In this case, they may think that the world is at their feet.
- Selfish: Sometimes they have everything they want and the most problematic thing is to have what they want at the moment they want.
- Consent: They are not used to a "no" because they always get what they ask for.
- Caprichosos: Having all the resources in their hands, they manage to manipulate the situation so that at no time they lack what they want and think that life will always be to itself.
- Spoiled: Because they are unique, sometimes they are in a bubble in which they only receive positive affects and rarely denials and quarrels.
Advice for parents
- It is beneficial to compensate the excessive coexistence of the child with adults, doing everything possible to make it relate with children of the same age.
- They have to dose the entertainment, carantoñas and pampering. Sometimes grandparents, uncles and parents themselves excel in praise and softness that only contribute to weaken or reduce self-confidence.
- Avoid falling into the temptation to do those things that he can do on his own.
- Prevents dependency ties between the parents and the only child are so strong that they impede the full development and psychic and affective autonomy, not achieving a defined personality and a criterion of their own
- Contact with children of your age It is very important for the socialization of the children, so that it can be procured that is related, perhaps more frequently than in other cases, with cousins or close relatives. In these visits, we must try not to meddle too much in the anger, leaving them to be solved alone; we will act when we see it necessary, only.
Avoid overprotecting your child
When parents have time to dedicate fully to their child because there are no other children who demand their attention, sometimes, they fall into the overprotection error, to give them everything and do everything for them. We must be clear that not because we have more capacity or resources, both in time and dedication or material resources, we will educate children better. Children will have to be given only what they need, neither more nor less.
Within that need, the most important thing is attention. Children need to be cared for but not replaced. We have to make them autonomous, put them in a situation of effort, to see that things suppose a sacrifice, although really for us it is easy to give them what they need. However, we do not have to make it obvious because they can become capricious children, accustomed to getting what they want when they want.
It is important, also, to educate the only child, make them see that they have needs and that we, as parents, will be there to help them cover them, but they have to know that others also have them and have to help them and be aware of them. from them. It is necessary to educate in generosity and in paying attention to the rest in order to avoid selfishness.
Excess of self-esteem
For each father, their children are unique, special and we must make them feel them. However, when there are brothers, the children know that for us they are very important, but that our affection, affection and the appreciation that we can make of them is not only for them, but their brothers also receive it. On the other hand, the only children can come to think that they are the best and the most * in everything.
Therefore, when evaluating them, positively reinforce their behavior and everything they do well, we should not fall into the error of always making them feel the best. Positive reinforcement is a very good educational guide but always making them see reality. We should not raise their self-esteem in excess so they do not think that there is no one better than them, because they can become despotic children with difficulties in their relationships with others in the future, and on a personal level when they discover reality.
Advisor: María Campo. Director Centros Educativos Kimba