When the child is an accusative
Being a snitch is a simple defect that does not have the greatest importance if it does not go on, but it can create problems for the children with their friends. When the child is an accused and so that this does not happen, we must encourage the children feelings of security and self-esteem, explaining that parents are always there to help them, but that they have to try to solve their problems on their own.
Reasons to accuse others
First of all, we can talk about a jealousy problem on the part of the child towards his brothers. Probably the child wants to stand out and show himself as a model to his parents with the idea that "they want more for being so good". Through small and constant accusations, the child tries to make a comparison between him and his brother in front of the parents, so that he gets out of this comparison to the detriment of his brother. When the child is an accused, he is seeking paternal approval and being congratulated by them.
Often, children they use accusations as a form of revenge. For example, after a sibling fight, it is usual for the one who has lost out to try to take advantage of any opportunity in which his brother commits some fault to run to tell the parents, with the intention of being punished. They can even make false or exaggerated accusations in order to "get revenge".
Further, want to stand out above others It can also result in a child being a sneak. This is easier to see in class, where the child accuses wants to draw the attention of others and be above some peers, especially those who do not like him.
Is jealous or wants to draw attention
When the child is an accused we must distinguish between a simple accusation that can be given from time to time between brothers because one of them is annoying the other, and a repeated behavior in which the accusation may be motivated by jealousy or by attracting attention .
Before a jealousy problem, parents must assure our son that we love him as much as his brothers and have more affection with him. A jealous child suffers a lot and needs love and affection to not feel displaced. He needs his parents to love him and feel loved. We must not fall into the error of telling the child that he is jealous one and a thousand times, because his jealous attacks will only be more frequent, since he is known to be like that.
When fellowship and camaraderie develops among class friends, it is normal that, for example, when faced with a lack or hooliganism in class, all the children are silent before the teacher's demand to know who he / she was. In these situations, it is also necessary to remind children that, telling the truth, it is easier for things to be solved and not to fear a disproportionate punishment. Both parents and teachers must encourage this attitude, in addition to teaching the children to help each other so that, if one commits a fault, be encouraged by others to face and, ultimately, be courageous.
Tips to educate accusative or sneaky children
- Constant accusations. Avoid serving these accusations because you will be setting the accusatory attitude to the child.
- Never reward or congratulate a child for sneaking, because this attitude is encouraged and this leads to establish differences between this child and the others who are the targets of the accusations, which will affect the relationships between them.
- You have to differentiate between an accusation that it can take place by an isolated fact and the accusations that obey a jealous, revengeful or derisive behavior.
- Congratulate the child when he shows signs of helping his brothers and classmates, this will encourage him to continue like this and encourage the camaraderie and the good relationship that exists between them, so the envy and accusations will have less room.
Conchita Requero
Advice: Manuela Manso, Bachelor of Education from the University of Wales
