The teenager and the relationship with his mother
When a certain age is reached, it is common for families to coincide hormonal revolution of the mother with that of the adolescent children. Finding solutions to this hormonal cocktail is fundamental for the adolescent and the relationship with his mother, if we do not want the "mix" to be explosive and sparks that can disturb good communication and family harmony.
"We have several children, the two are in the middle of adolescence, we do not know what happens to us, but we do not get a good atmosphere at home, and with our older children it was not so difficult for us to live together during those years. "
More and more marriages are coming to the consultation in search of guidance about the problems of coexistence with their teenage children. They are puzzled by their own reactions, especially to mothers. They do not understand how they have known how to "fight the elderly and with the little ones they can not". There is an interesting fact to keep in mind: younger children usually reach the turkey age when their mothers are around the 50s.
It is a difficult age, both for the son and the mother. There is a family hormonal revolution that can alter the adolescent's relationship with his mother.
Hormone development of adolescents
The adolescent is in full hormonal development; he does not recognize his body. Her hands and nose grow disproportionately, her bodily prowess turns to clumsiness, her manners of loving child who approaches her parents gratefully and admired, turn into bad answers. They become mute, they isolate themselves, the music sounds loud around the house, they hide to talk on the phone and at meals they look at the plate as if the rest of the family did not exist. They usually fall in love and think that nobody will understand them. When they smile they want to take out some candles and celebrate! The sensation that they produce is that they all have plenty and annoy them, but it is not like that.
The changes of premenopause
The mother, who usually speaks less, given the tin that children give, is not exactly spending the best time of his life. Hormones are also making great changes in her, which must be attended with common sense, medical advances and a little patience.
The pre-menopause is the ten years that precede the total withdrawal of menstruation. The ovary stops producing estrogen and progesterone. Aging begins:
1. The skin wrinkles.
2. Changes in mood can begin due to hormonal shortages.
3. The unexpected "hot flashes" that take the whole family to amazement, in view of the mother's need to open windows.
4. Bone pain from decalcification.
5. As if this was not enough: the almost complete decrease in sexual desire! to the amazement of the husbands.
6. It is easy to gain a few kilos, eating the same, which also lead to not recognizing and not like that "new look".
This combined between hormonal revolution of the mother and the son at the same time It should lead us to look for solutions, if we do not want the "mix" to be explosive.
It is prudent to go to the gynecologist in case it is convenient to substitute hormone therapy or soy intake to contain estrogen. It is essential to increase physical exercise, because it delays bone decalcification and it is healthy to try to find a way to do something nice every day.
Discussing the baffling situations with older siblings helps to de-dramatize. They remind themselves "in that strange way" and they already laugh. The son needs us balanced and happy. It costs him. Both one and the other are ripening crises that mean growth.
Mónica de Aysa. Family therapist
