What you can do when your child has a tantrum
Tantrums are the way the child expresses his or herdiscomfort in the face of setbacks, frustrations or lack of conformity with something. Children express themselves with tantrums because they can not argue, verbally explain their disagreement or negotiate to get what they want.
The tantrum manifests ascrying, screaming, refusal to listen to what is said or to comply with orders. Sometimes physical aggressions can occur when we try to approach or reason with the child. Temper tantrums are, for children up to 5 years, normal behavior in the face of setbacks.After 5 years, their frequency and intensity tend to be reduced, because the child has more resources tochannel your frustrations.
What to do when a child has a tantrum?
Very important: Ignore It; that is to say,not pay any attention while the tantrum lasts. Do not look at it, do not listen to it, do not look angry, do not make gestures that the child can interpret as some form of attention. Faced with this attitude, the child will probably worsen the intensity of the tantrum. You have to have a lot of patience and persevere.
Only when we are incompromised situations, in the street, in the house of some friends, etc., we will have no choice but to grab the child and take him under his arm, but always without making any comments, reasoning or complaint. Never try to stop a tantrum with comments or reasoning. They will only serve for the childfeel more attended and repeat that attitude more often.
When the tantrum runs outwe can talk to the child. If the cause of this has been our refusal to do something that he wanted, we will explain then thewhy our refusal and you can also consider ways ofnegotiation or alternatives. In this way the child will understand the reasons of the adult and can find a satisfactory solution for both.
SometimesIt will not be easy to know the causes of your discomfort, since there are often problems that the childcan not express, such as relationship problems with other children, with the teacher, etc., or difficulties to achieve success in different school activities such as sports, etc. In this case we can help you understand these causes and find solutions.
In conclusion, we will say that the best way to reduce tantrumsis to ignore them and promote other more appropriate forms of behavior, how to express feelings in annoying situations, talk or negotiate with adults.