Why you should stop overprotecting your children and teach them to face life
It seems logical: from the moment in which a person becomes a father, the life of his son is the most important and he does not want to suffer or pass nothing bad. But, what if we're going through and you must stop overprotecting your children? Of this alert the child psychiatrist of the Psychiatry and Clinical Psychology Service of HM Puerta del Sur University Hospital, Lilia Marinas, who advocates to stop overprotecting children and, instead, teach them to face life.
"As your child grows you must learn to unwind alone", says this expert, who regrets that for a few years" is seeing a tendency of parents to Overprotecting children", which impedes their autonomy." They interpret that the best way to take care of their children is to avoid risks and difficulties, but they do not realize that with child overprotection they limit their possibilities of development ", explains the child psychiatrist.
Helicopter parents: the most overprotective
When talking about overprotective parents is impossible not to mention hyperpaternity and the term 'parents helicopter', which refers to an educational style that combines overprotection with an excess of control and high demand: "Parents worry about the future of their children from very early ages, fostering competitiveness and a perception of the unsafe work world ", continues this expert, who assures that, in the end," with the desire to give them the best, they end up protecting them from life instead of preparing them to face her. "
The consequences of overprotecting children are serious. This is much more important than it may seem and can have serious consequences. TO emotional level, the children of this class of parents "are children who do not learn to be responsible for their own well-being or their actions, because they have always obtained immediately what they have asked for". And what about this? The little ones "do not recognize their mistakes, they are more immature, they often feel dissatisfied and can react irritably or aggressively if others do not respond to their demands", comments Marinas in a press release sent by the hospital.
Another serious consequence that this kind of education has for children has to do with their learning: after growing up in this environment, children tend to show less initiative of their own and little development of creativity, in addition to discouragement through studies.
Why it is good to punish and scold your children
Yes, when the little ones they misbehave You have to explain to them why this can not be done, but if the behavior is repeated, you have to scold them or even punish them. At this point, the expert assures that it is good "to show anger" since this "serves to emphasize the disagreement with the behavior of the child".
Of course, "we must try to assign the scolding to behaviors that we want to correct and not resort to them every time we do not do what we expect", clarifies. That is, we must teach and scold, but it is always necessary to give an explanation to the child of the limit that is being put to him, because the most effective learning is that he assumes a natural consequence of his behavior. The psychiatrist gives an example: if he does not do homework In time, you will not be able to go down to the park.
What happens with the school's duties?
Unfortunately, today there are many parents who see naturalness Do your children's homework so they can get good grades. An attitude that is a big mistake: it is possible that the child gets a good grade, but the goal of the homework is not so much the note as the little ones learn, something that they will not have done if the task was done by the parent. "The message they convey is that the only important thing is the result, not the effort," says Marinas.
Instead, good parents should help do their homework according to the abilities of their children, teaching them aspects as an organization, management of time and place for carrying out school tasks, but help will decrease as the child acquires autonomy. "Children should be able to make mistakes, because mistakes are an important source of learning," says the expert.
Another controversial point to which the psychiatrist refers is to groups of Whatsapp of fathers. Despite being a very common tool among parents to send home the duties that children forget, "this attitude deprives the child of very valuable learning for a good academic performance, such as organization, memory, attention, the responsibility to do duties and the consequences of not doing them, "says the psychiatrist.
Children also have obligations at home
The expert recommends that small assume responsibilities "As soon as possible, always depending on their capabilities."In general, from 2 or 3 years old they can start learning to eat and dress themselves. Before 6 they have to be autonomous in hygiene, getting dressed, eating everything, enjoying playing alone and with other children, going to bed at the agreed time and keeping their toys organized.
Finally, Marinas affirms that it is good for children to separate from their parents from time to time, because "it is beneficial for both. "Parents need to have time for them and take care of the couple.The child is happy that his parents do other things besides raising him (work, meeting friends), so he will not be so dependent on them.
Damián Montero
