Why we should not abuse NO with our children
The abuse of "no" with our children has an effect Boomerang, because it contains greater dangers than that of a mere stage of stubbornness in our son. Although the reflective capacity of children up to 5 years old is of understanding is still reduced, we must respect and boost their intelligence by providing timely explanations appropriate to their age. In this way, he will get used to doing the things that cost him for a reason and to find a sense of effort.
In this line, we can not explain in detail why the odious lentils are good, but we can show you a picture "from when I was little" so you can see how it has grown thanks to this legume. Children around 2 years old go through what is called the NO stage and this rebellion can often put parents in a difficult situation.
I do not love you anymore
However, and however many efforts we make, however, there is no way to prevent the thing from getting out of hand from time to time. In these moments, it is easy for the child to use against us the threat that is worse for him: "I do not love you anymore". A revelation of what is his scale of tragedies in life: not to be loved.
But before that exit, we have the best answer: "Look Pablo, I know that you love me and, besides, I do love you, because you are my son". These words, said with serenity and without giving them excessive importance on our part, will be much more effective than a "me to you either" or "you who have believed you, brat", who will only achieve negative effects on the child.
I am done
Another possibility is for the child to raise his hand ... an attitude that we can not overlook in any way. Trying to hit the parents is not admissible.
The problem is that we impose this punishment carried out by anger, in which case the remedy would be worse than the disease. Each parent will have to assess the situation, and see how to do it. It's not about getting mad at him. The child should not see it as a reaction, but as a decision taken after reflection.
Even so, we must not forget that the punishment, if it occurs, must be immediate to the infraction, so that the child can relate them, so we will have to do a good and healthy self-control exercise to avoid transmitting anger or anger in our sentence.
Tips not to abuse NO with our children
1. As always, love is the essential condiment to educate our children: it will also be to "lead" them to the fulfillment of their duties.
2. Beware of abusing the "no". Being continually telling your child NOT to everything, can have the opposite effect and may not pay attention to anything. The power of the NO of the parents is very powerful if it is dosed well, since sometimes it is better to educate with many SI and few NO.
3. Respect your child and understand that he may not like the noodles. Although we must force him to eat everything, we can always become accomplices of his effort with a word or gesture of praise.
4. Avoid direct confrontations with the child, except when they are unavoidable orders, that you are going to impose and you are not willing to compromise. This is the secret of the powerful educational NO.
5. If you want to start a new activity, Use your imagination to divert your attention from what you are doing. Speaking to him without stopping usually gives good results.
6. Giving up usually means forging a tyrannical and rebellious teenager. Many times, the two-year-old is carefully calculating how far he can go.
If you intuit that, when the time for dinner, bath or bedtime, the child is not going to obey the first, try to involve him in the preparation process. With imagination and left hand, seek your help to set the table, prepare the clean pajamas or lay the bear near your crib.
Advice: Lucía Herrero. Psychologist and family counselor
More information in the book:
- Do not be afraid to say no, by Osvaldo Poli.Editorial Word.