Emotional competences for parents and mothers

How are your emotional competencies? Do you analyze how you feel to blame or demand yourself? Do you think that talking about emotions can show weakness? Emotional intelligence can help you pay attention to your emotions and better respond to the emotional needs of your environment.

Emotional intelligence, according to Goleman, is the ability of a person to handle a series of skills and attitudes. The thesis of this author is based on the fact that it is not so much the IQ of a person but the management of these skills that determines their success in life or their happiness.

5 emotional competences for fathers and mothers

Daniel Goleman defines the following emotional competencies:


CONSCIOUSNESS OF ONE SELF. Do you suffer emotional self-awareness?
Be aware of one's emotions; recognize a feeling at the moment it occurs. A disability in this sense leaves us at the mercy of uncontrolled emotions. By recognizing one's own emotions, it is possible to make an adequate assessment of oneself (knowledge of ones own strengths and weaknesses). The security in the assessment that we make about ourselves and our capabilities helps us to increase confidence in ourselves? same.

EMOTIONAL SELF-REGULATION. Do you know how to control yourself?
Self-control or emotional self-regulation is the ability to properly handle emotions and conflicting impulses. This does not mean hiding emotions, if I am sad, frustrated or discouraged, the solution is not to pretend that nothing happens at the dinner time, but I must learn to moderate, flexibilize, understand why it happens and know how to express myself clearly so that the The rest of my family can understand what happens to me. If we analyze and record the reactions day by day we can find out what the original emotion is.


MOTIVATION. Ideal ingredient to achieve objectives
An emotion tends to propel you towards an action. Therefore, emotion and motivation are intimately interrelated. To direct the emotions, and the consequent motivation, towards the achievement of objectives is essential to pay attention, self-motivate, manage and carry out creative activities.

EMPATHY. Listen and understand
Do you know that you can help others to feel better if you recognize their emotional state? Empathy is the awareness of the feelings, needs and concerns of others. Being empathetic means having the ability to capture the feelings and views of other people and actively interested in the things that concern them. Empathic people tune in better with the subtle signals that indicate what others need or want.

SOCIAL SKILLS. Generate desirable responses
Social skills are abilities to introduce desirable responses in others: communication, leadership, ability to negotiate, ability to work cooperatively. And this happens by knowing how to treat and communicate with those people who are close to us and we like them but also with those who do not have so much in common or do not get along so well.


In summary, the emotional intelligence It is made up of two parts: an intrapersonal part that has to do with ourselves, know ourselves and manage our emotions and another interpersonal one that refers to how we capture the emotions of others and relate to them. The best tool to develop emotional intelligence with your children is perseverance, it is useless to self-regulate a day or a week, no strategy works by magic but requires commitment, motivation to improve and practice day. Remember continuous progress, automatic change.

Video: How to raise successful kids -- without over-parenting | Julie Lythcott-Haims


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