The suspense, a tragedy for parents?
If something is clear, it is that in the face of the poor grades of the children, parents often feel indirectly responsible. However, instinctively we say phrases like: you're all summer punished! You're a bum! They are lThe suspense, a tragedy for parents? Sometimes, many see it that way and in order not to dramatize the most important thing is to get to the origin of the problem.
Guide for parents desperate for the failures
What is really important before the arrival of suspense in June it is not to dramatize, because not passing all the subjects in June does not mean that the child is going to fail in life, but that he needs help. You just have to remember that throughout history there have been great geniuses who did not excel in school precisely because of their brilliance.
Not passing all the subjects does not mean that the child is going to fail in life, but that he needs help. As parents we must strive to go to the source of the children's failures and not simply stay in the results. We will help you develop a schedule where there will be time to study, help at home and rest
The attitude of parents to the failures of their children
Keep trusting him, that is not trusting. "I will start trusting my son when he approves." This position is understandable but blocking; that way nothing is fixed. In the end, he wants to please you and be a good student. Give him another opportunity and, at the same time, organize things so that he takes advantage of the occasion that is offered to him.
Acknowledge their efforts In the darkness of failure, small sparks of success emerge: sitting down to study for yourself, sitting longer than usual ... Make him see that you are happy. Perhaps it is enough with a smile, a subtle gesture of affection that does not enrage the grumpy adolescent. If you intend to praise, be honest. Do not say that what is bad is good, your son is not stupid. The unconditional is important, if you add a but a praise is no longer a compliment.
5 tips to help your child overcome the suspense
By reinforcing the positive aspects, your child will strive more and more to offer you what you reinforce.
1. Praise the efforts, not the capabilities. Say: "My son, how clever you are", only serves to nourish vanity. However, saying: "I am very happy to see how you have studied this afternoon", invites us to continue striving.
2. That you feel understood. Understanding does not mean that you have to justify it. When you understand him, you will feel peace within you and that will be what you will transmit to him. Only from peace and trust is safe progress towards success.
3. Fight with your son, not against him. Become your ally, tell him that you will overcome him together. Your attitude of defiance should be directed against the causes and not against the people who suffer the consequences.
4. Act to achieve success, not to avoid failure. When you strive to defend what you want, you move by hope and love, but when you focus your efforts on avoiding failure, you move by fear and anxiety. Fear weakens but love strengthens you.
5. Avoid stressing. Stressed parents only reinforce in the child the idea that studying is a punishment. A good start is to reconcile you with the meaning of study.
Although the will is important, what moves people the most is their inner vision. By force of arms you can move a little, but everything ends up overwhelming. With the strength of conviction, one acquires confidence in oneself and the feeling of power allows one to overcome obstacles that previously seemed impossible.
You have to be realistic and ask each child to aspire to the grades they can reach according to their abilities.
Ana Aznar
Advice: Dr. Luis Manuel Martínez. University Center Villanueva
