10 ideas to educate the only child

Educate an only child It is a challenge for parents. Contributing to their socialization and their coexistence with other children of their age, avoiding overprotection, contributing to gain autonomy, and expanding the family triangle on a daily basis are the main objectives that the education of the only child should pursue.

There are multiple reasons why you can have only one child: some families are forced to make this decision for medical or physical problems, others claim economic, social problems ... In any case, the statistics do not lie. Spain is the country of the European Union with the lowest birth rate: 1.23 children per family.

The direct consequence is that many of these children grow as unique children. But it can not be considered exclusively as only son To those who have not had brothers, so are those whoseermanos smaller or older were born many years apart, they suffered a lost or, for one reason or another, they grew up away from their brothers, for example.

Educating unique children is a challenge

In any case, what we should be clear from the beginning and end the main myths of the only child, is that for a boy or girl to be happy is not necessary to be surrounded by a large number of brothers, far from it.

On the contrary, the environment we manage to create in our own home is much more important. For example, we must try to escape certain attitudes such as being too aware of our only child. This does not mean that we do not pay attention. It's one thing to spend a lot of time with him and another very different place in a glass case as if it were a wonderful trophy.

In this sense, it is essential to learn to distribute your day correctly. It is good that there is a time to be alone, a time to share with us, your parents, and another to enjoy the company of your friends and family.

The child world of the only child

We should encourage our only child to receive friends and classmates at home. But for this we have to create the opportunities and the climate of trust necessary: Our son needs his own space where he can have fun, chat and feel independent.

We have to bear in mind that the majority of their knowledge belongs to the world of adults and that, therefore, this type of relationship is fundamental; Above all, yes, if we want our son to have a whole world of invaluable childhood experiences.

Other Very usual tendency when you have a unique child is overprotection. Most parents tend to protect their first child but this situation usually changes with the passage of time and the arrival of other children. This does not happen in the case of the only children. One solution is to try to share experiences with other parents who can always give us their own points of view: We may think that our child is very fragile and needs our constant supervision ... Parents with more "tradition" will show us that a boy of seven or eight is almost like an "SUV".

When we were little ...

You can also for being the only child at home, let's have a certain tendency to treat our child as an adult. Let's try to avoid it. We can not allow the boy to miss the opportunity to enjoy his own childhood. Perhaps a good trick is to try to remember at every moment what we liked to do to ourselves when we were little.

In the same way, we should not raise our demands too much. The fact that we have only one child does not mean that we have to project all our expectations into it. Children are children and if our child feels that he is unable to fulfill all our dreams and goals, it is likely that we will be harming him in the long run. What's more, if our son is the best or not in the class, if he wants to be a firefighter, lawyer or astronaut when he's older ... the important thing, in any case, is that he's happy, respecting his personality traits and that, of course, you have the opportunity to enjoy your childhood.

1. Encourage your relationships with your peers. It is very important that our son interacts with other children. Therefore, now that he is older, we can encourage him to spend some other weekend at the home of one of his friends. In this way you can enjoy the company of boys and girls of your age.

2. Organize family reunions. If our son has cousins and cousins of his age, take the opportunity to gather them regularly. This could be the best way to put into practice all these "rules of coexistence" does not usually handle daily to have no brothers.

3. Give him the opportunity to gradually become independent. If we promote certain dependencies in our son, the only thing we will achieve is that tomorrow he will not be able to make decisions for himself.

4. Avoid overprotecting him too much. The fact that our son faces his own experiences is a positive thing, because in this way he will get strong in the face of a not so distant future.

5. Do not give up playing with your child. Of course, always lowering to your level. If he loves to throw a top, let's learn to throw it too instead of proposing "adult" fun.

6. Enroll, if possible, at the same school where your cousins or friends go. Thus, you can share with them all your school experiences.

7. Talk often with your child of topics related to their children's world, their interests and illusions. For him it is very important that we listen to him and even more when at home there is no one else with whom to share the experiences lived throughout the day.

8. Keep the family triangle stable. Avoid alliances with your child against your husband or wife. The child will not feel comfortable with this situation and, in addition, we will be denying him the possibility of living his own life.

9. Encourage your child to make their own decisions. Most of the only children have a hard time choosing so we should try to lose that kind of fear of making mistakes. We can start with simple alternatives (that he choose his own new clothes, for example) that will get complicated as he matures.

10. Avoid pampering him. In general, pampering children is not good, a gesture that should not be confused with affection. So, there is a maxim that says pampering, not mimes, yes. The boy

Elena López
Advice: Jill Pitkeathley. Director of The Cares National Association.