10 models of friendship between children
Social relations and the concept of friendship, as such, do not arise until well past a certain age. Children, as social beings, tend, since they are very young, to be with other children. They need to be in company and enjoy sharing time with other peers, however, they are not real friendly relations.
From a pedagogical point of view, social relations begin two years later. Before that age children do not establish a relationship as such, since they tend to be and play more independently and in isolation. Children of one year can play together in the same space, but each one focused on their own game. On the other hand, after two years there is already a certain interaction, from which they perceive its consequences on themselves and on others.
As the Children's cycle progresses, they begin to experience the emotions associated with friendship. They feel more affinity with a type of children than with others, tend to spend more time with a certain group, talk about the same children constantly ...
10 friendship models according to the type of child
Depending on the way in which they relate and act, we can distinguish between different types of children:
- Children with "very best friends". There are children who soon distinguish the partner with whom they feel more affinity, with whom they feel better, more fun and what they call their best friend. They have other friends but this one is special.
In a way, this is usually general even in adults. It could be said, therefore, that it is a normal process within the concept of friendship. However, at an early age, depending on how this concept is used, it can provoke reactions of certain conflict that must be observed and tried to be avoided.
When a child is called another's best friend, this strengthens him and contributes to improving and developing his self-esteem. It is being valued and reinforced, something that everyone likes. The problem arises when the concept of a best friend is overstretched above other relationships with other children. This can cause reactions of rejection in the group and usually leads to some isolation that should be avoided, since it is not good for them to reduce their social relationships and friendships to a single friend. In addition, at this stage they have not been able to experience and learn everything that friendship carries implicitly.
Another problem that can arise if the concept of a best friend is not taken with a certain balance is when there is no consensus between both friends. That is, when one chooses another child as a best friend but this does not correspond to him and chooses a different one. Here feelings of rejection also arise in a maturationally weak stage and that supposes an intervention on the part of the adult to help the proper management of these feelings.
- Children with gang. Another type of children we can find are those who immediately find a group where they feel comfortable, integrated and accepted. From very young they create what is called a gang and, from an early age, develop the feeling of permanence to the group and, therefore, of respect towards it. These two learnings will be very positive for your adult life.
In this case the adult should also pay some attention to the type of social relationship they are establishing. It should be noted that the group does not establish relationships of exclusion with other children or too much competition or rivalry between gangs, as this can lead to great suffering of affected children.
- Children who play with anyone. There are also children who have a great capacity for social relationships. They stand out precisely because they are very sociable and have the empathic ability to get along easily with all kinds of children regardless of their qualities and characteristics. Generally, they are children with very high interpersonal intelligence. This type of children is often called, from this point of view, "easy" because, besides not generating problems, in this sense, they tend to help integrate rejected children, make them feel good and accepted. In short, they generate a good social environment.
- Leading children. Because of their own characteristics, there are children who always tend to be leaders. They seek to like the rest, they are seen as a model and they are followed as such. They tend to have leadership, initiative, strength and power to generate ideas and ability to control or manipulate others. Leadership can be positive or negative. It means that there are children who pull others and their attitudes and actions depend on what consequences are generated - positive or negative? When we are facing groups led by a child it is important that the adult does the exercise of analyzing well the type of leadership for Put the measures that are considered convenient, in order to avoid important future problems.
- Submissive children. These types of children are very easy to manipulate.They usually have the ability to easily do what they are told without showing their own criteria or assessment. They adapt easily to each other but by not making a judgment or critical assessment of what they do they are very vulnerable. This attitude is not considered "healthy" from a social point of view since they do not develop their own personality and the risks that this entails can be really dangerous. In this case it would be convenient to help the child to develop his own criteria and give him guidelines to be able to transmit it. Learn to say "No".
- Toxic children. It seems strange to use that word for a child but it is true that there are children who by their way of doing, not adequate, manage to contaminate and transmit their actions to other children who, had it not been for this contagion, would have acted appropriately.
- Children looking for toxics. There are also children who, by natural tendency, often end up on the side of those who do not bring them positive things but who pollute them negatively. When this happens it is important to try to help them to come in contact with other children who can bring them positive things, facilitate that contact and interaction and not leave them exclusively with those kinds of relationships that can destroy them.
- Shy children. When a child is shy, we must give him special help. He usually has relationship difficulties initially, but once he already knows the other children he usually does not have any kind of problems. The important thing is to understand them and never force them. It will help a lot to have someone you know by your side who gives them security. When dealing with social relations, it is important that their point of support, as far as possible, is not the parents. You can find support in a brother, cousin, neighbor * that helps you approach the other children gradually.
- Children who do not want to be with children. There are children who do not like to be with other children and tend to be more with adults or even very babies. They feel more comfortable in these environments than with their peers. In this type of case we must try to strengthen their encounters with other children so that they can learn socialization. Find the way to integrate them and even if they do not become very active socially, try to have certain moments of social relationship with equals.
- Lonely children. This type of children tends to always be alone. They avoid being with other children and even with other adults. They feel comfortable alone, without any relationship. As in the previous case, it is necessary to work with them a certain socialization because it is considered a natural characteristic intrinsic to the human being.
María Campo
It may interest you:
- How to learn to be sociable from the cradle
- Educate in social skills: key to success
- That's how his first friends are: the friendship of 3 to 6 years
- The importance of friendship in childhood
