Helicopter parents guilty of bad behavior, according to a study
All parents want the best for their children and avoid, as much as they can, the various problems that can affect children. On many occasions, this desire for wellbeing by children is transformed by a strong control of the day to day of the children. A situation that is termed as "helicopter parents", those parents who come to assume responsibilities that do not belong to them.
The helicopter parents They not only prevent their children from learning to make decisions that correspond to them and assume responsibilities that they have. A new study by the University of Minnesota has shown that this style of parenting leads to behavioral problems for children and hinders their emotional development.
Difficulty dealing with problems
A total of 422 children and his parents participated in this study. The researchers took note of the characteristics of the children and the parenting style that the families had bet on. At the same time, the parents had to play together with their children in the same way as they would at home to show how their usual relationship was.
In this way, in the first place, the helicopter parents showed games where they were the ones who decided everything and in which the opinion of the children was not taken into account. Something that ultimately translated into problems so that the children could make decisions for themselves and end up letting themselves be guided by other people's criteria.
At the same time, these children showed more behavior challenging Y apatheticThey also showed attitudes marked by frustration at not being able to develop their personality. "Our research showed that children with helicopter parents have a lower chance of dealing with the challenges they may face in the future," explains Nicole B. Perry, lead author of the study.
Perry also adds that "children who can not regulate their emotions and behavior in an effective way are more likely to show bad behavior in the classroom, to have more difficulties to make friends and fight in school. "
While children should not be allowed to face all dangers alone, parents should work on the autonomy of their children. The parents must be able to let the little ones of the house begin to take responsibility in their world, these are some tips that they offer from the Spanish Confederation of Associations of Parents and Mothers, CEAPA:
- Advise, not choose. Children must be able to make their own decisions, except when this responsibility falls directly on the parents. But in situations such as what sweater they want to wear or part of the decoration of their room, they must fall on the little ones.
- Small details. Teach them how to tie their cords, whether they pick up their plates or peel pieces of easy fruit that do not require cutlery. These small details will indicate to the child that he is able to fend for himself in certain circumstances.
- Your space, your responsibility. Some areas such as the school backpack should be the responsibility of the little ones. If a book is forgotten, the child should learn the lesson and be more attentive next time instead of the father resolving this situation.
- Do not avoid conflicts. If a conflict arises with the parents, we should not avoid it but show the children that there is the possibility of resolving it with respect and dialogue.