5 keys to know if your family is happy
A study by Harvard University, which began to develop in 1938, revealed that the best indicator of long-term happiness are stable relationships with family and friends. The director of the study, culminated 75 years later, Robert Waldinger, presented the conclusions highlighting the relationship between stable families and happiness.
According to this study, people with closer social relationships were free of chronic and mental illnesses, and had little loss of memory, although these relationships had several ups and downs.
There are many types of families and, consequently, there are many types of families healthily happy. "Nowadays society has also assumed as a family not chosen friends, opening much more the field of action of this on our individual development," says Jesus Matos, psychologist and founder of mental equilibrium.
And he adds that "well-being is a measure that is understood differently according to each case (each family nucleus will value some elements over others) but there are some of these that are or should be common to create cohesive families that add value to the society, taking into account that respect must be the basis of any type of relationship ".
Keys to know if our family is 'healthy'
To know if our family is happy, Jesus Matos highlights five patterns or habits that identify families that enjoy good family health:
1. Prioritize quality versus quantity
Time is the enemy of 21st century families. The key is to give priority to quality over quantity. Making the most of the time we have available to carry out activities that satisfy everyone and encourage cohesion is essential.
2. Leave out reproaches
Overconfidence or, as we will see below, a vague definition of the limits of family members often leads to a common family malaise: reproach. The reproach is the negative response in the family. There is no scenario in which this occurs more frequently and the use and abuse of reproach between the couple, siblings or parents and children can cause much harm. We must learn to discard reproach as an element of defense.
3. Draw the limits
Totally necessary. The lack of clear limits is one of the most common problems and has the worst consequences. Establishing them is a task for which it is necessary to be involved and accepted by all its members and which must be reviewed according to the circumstances surrounding the family. If we draw limits, it will be easier to establish guidelines and 'guidelines' with which to better measure problems and anticipate coherent and accepted solutions.
4. Practice assertive communication
The family must speak clearly. Through empathy and understanding, we must work on this skill that consists in knowing how to express opinions, beliefs or feelings in a clear, direct way, whether pleasant or unpleasant for the interlocutor. It is not just about saying no, but also knowing how to ask for help or express a feeling. For it to work and be installed as a base in the family, assertiveness must be given completely. Not only must we be clear, but let us feel guilty about it. Assertiveness and protection are not at odds. Masking a reality can bring more problems in the medium and long term.
5. Emotionally support its members
Emotional support is essential for the development of self-esteem, confidence and autonomy. The family must know how to value the qualities of its members and accept the defects, but without resorting to overprotection.
Living in a family makes us happier
It is clear that there is a close relationship between family and individual well-being. "The family is a support group in which people feel safe to develop, the main difference with friends is that we do not choose our family," says psychologist Jesús Matos. The social support we perceive is, according to the expert, one of the variables most involved with welfare and the family can fulfill that function.
Jesus Matos. Psychologist and founder of In Mental Balance