How to overcome the fear of commitment in the couple's relationship

Nowadays we find ourselves with a certain mentality that leads us to assure, in the first place, labor issues, housing, etc., before initiating or stabilizing a courtship prior to marriage, or before venturing out of the family heat.

For any important decision in life it is necessary to assume certain present and future responsibilities, that is, to commit oneself. From the outset, young people find themselves with a certain distrust and uncertainty about the future, which is why they try hard to secure the future at all costs.

Marriage appears in a more or less distant horizon, as well as the previous process: courtship. "I'm not in a hurry" or "I prefer to have everything solved" are the phrases that are heard with some frequency when several friends chat, commenting on their future. However, life is full of problems, big and small, and the truth is that when the beginnings have been difficult, then the small encounters do not make a dent, because it is easy to relativize them. However, when you intend to have all the ropes tied, and start a placid life, it can happen that a small problem throws everything away by missing the necessary perspective.

A good courtship: essential to lose the fear of commitment

Also, you can not trust that, when you find the right person, everything will flow perfectly and you will be very happy. We must count on the fact that in order to fall in love and to love another, it is necessary to eliminate barriers and conditions. For that reason, a courtship in which one and the other focus on evaluating themselves and not on opening up to the other and trusting, is quite likely that it does not go very far.

It is not strange that there are people who, as soon as they know someone of their interest, overwhelm them with questions or provoke situations that allow them to immediately assess whether they are the most suitable person or not. And it is that who presents this attitude is not really looking for who to make happy, but who makes him happy ... something that goes against the very essence of love, which is to put the other at the center of our lives. Clinging to oneself does not allow a true commitment or delivery.

Ideas to overcome the fear of commitment

With so much pessimism flying over the issue of commitment, it is time to talk seriously about the goals that our young people want to achieve in their lives. Many may not even have considered them, and many others do not even know where to shoot.

1. The effort. It is in these ages when the parents have to talk to them about the effort to take a life project forward, to truly love; we only with the feelings, but also with the reason; It's up to you to help them mature so that they are able to put their priorities in order, and encourage them to be bold.

2. Maturity. Young people should know that much of the good they achieve throughout their life will be largely due to their effort. And now that is when they have to take the first steps to adulthood. To get rid of that fear of commitment, it is necessary to be clear about certain objectives for the future. It is not easy, and surely many young people will fall from the cherry tree alone.

3. Build a family. We must also talk about the benefits and joys of forming a family, and what bad moments there are going to be, but that they must be aware of this in order to know that they have to find a solution when they arise.

4. A good courtship. Let us encourage them to really know their boy / girlfriend, that is, that communication is fruitful in the courtship, that talking is the most important thing, because it is the most effective weapon to know each other.

Teresa Pereda